Two maids, one headache

SINGAPORE - Many know enough about sibling rivalry to prepare older children to accept younger ones on the way.

Far fewer would think to smooth the way for a second domestic helper to join the household.

But that was exactly what Mrs Clare Teo says she and her siblings should have done before hiring maid No. 2 to look after their 80-year-old mother.

She says there was a lot of "pot banging and door slamming" seven years ago after the second maid arrived to care for her dementia-stricken mother, who lives with her brother in his private apartment in the west.

The first maid, who had worked for four years before the new helper's arrival, was supposed to take care of household chores and was under her sister-in-law's employ. The new entrant answered to Mrs Teo.

Mrs Teo, a marketing head of an IT firm who is in her 40s, says: "It was difficult to divide the housework and aged care. Initially, we just told the second maid to 'help out' the first one, but that caused a lot of conflicts between them.

"It was our fault that we didn't list out clearly who was to do what. The 'help out' part was too vague."

After a couple of months, both Filipinas spoke up.

"My maid told me she couldn't understand why the other maid would show a black face, bang the pots and turn her back to her whenever she entered the kitchen," recalls Mrs Teo.

"The other maid talked to my sister-in-law and said, 'Am I the maid, cooking for the other one?'"

Eventually both helpers "adjusted" to their own divisions of labour.

The new helper does chores for herself and her elderly charge, including cooking their meals, cleaning their shared bedroom and washing their clothes. The first maid cleans everywhere else and cooks for everyone else.

Mrs Teo muses: "It's a truce now - they are not enemies but they are not friends either."

She and her three siblings decided to employ a second maid to look after their mother because her dementia was worsening and she needed full-time care.

Their mother wanted to live with her only son, even though Mrs Teo's brother and sister-in-law, who are running a construction business, had their hands full with four children, then aged two to 13.

The Manpower Ministry does not have figures on the number of households that employ two or more maids.

But Mr Richard Ong, 58, district manager of Nation Employment, one of the biggest maid agencies here, thinks any increase in the number of families adding a second maid to the 214,500-strong pool of current domestic workers here is "very marginal".

He says: "Most people here live in HDB flats. Even condominium apartments are too small to have two maids. And it's not cheap."

Salary, levy, food and lodging as well as medical bills add up to about $1,000 a helper a month, he estimates.

Families who have two helpers tend to be those "who live in landed properties and have big families, with children and elderly to look after under the same roof", Mr Ong says.

Moreover, "if the two maids have issues and can't get along, it's a headache".

The way restaurateur Edina Hong, 41, deals with this issue and cements ties is through mutual accountability. The more seasoned helper is expected to look out for the newer one, she says.

For instance, when one maid dumped her silk blouse in the washing machine instead of sending it to the dry cleaners, the other was ticked off too. Both were grounded from going out on a public holiday.

Ms Hong, who runs a stable of restaurants with her husband, chef Emmanuel Stroobant, 45, says: "I realised it's better to scold both, so that one doesn't point a finger at the other, but both try to look out for each other."

They employed a second maid about a year ago after their younger daughter Mia, now 18 months old, was born, and handling her and older sister Keira, now four, and the household got too tough for just one helper. The family live in a private apartment in River Valley Road.

Ms Hong says: "So, one maid is for everything kids and one for everything household - a nanny and a house manager."

With a new Indonesian maid having just arrived at Ms Hong's household last Friday, Ms Ayati Sarkawi Sarpin, 28, now assumes the role of nanny and the seasoned helper.

Is she stressed about the added accountability? She says in Bahasa Indonesia: "If I don't teach the new maid properly, it's my fault. And ma'am has a right to scold me."

While there may be friction between domestic workers, some of them will probably appreciate the extra help to shoulder the workload.

Playwright Gauri Shrivastava has two helpers for her three- storey bungalow in Sunset Way, where she lives with her husband Amit Gupta, a private banker, and their twin 17-year-old daughters. They have another 21-year-old daughter studying abroad.

She says: "Really, we need only 11/2 maids. I feel there's too much overlap of duties - no one really has enough work."

The family employed a second maid 11/2 years ago when Ms Gauri brought her elderly parents here from India. Before that, her "competent" maid managed the household on her own.

When that helper went home in 2012, Ms Gauri found that the replacement, while "honest and sincere", needed help. Instead of finding another person to replace her, she hired another maid after about a year, in November last year.

Her two maids only perform household chores and cook meals.

Business planner Timothy Yu, 34, is glad that his dual-maids phase is only a "transition".

His current maid of five years is leaving for home at the end of the month and is "handing over" matters to the newer helper, who arrived two weeks ago. Both are from Indonesia.

Mr Yu and his 29-year-old lawyer wife need the helper mainly to care for his frail grandmother, who lives with them in their five-room HDB flat in Marine Parade and has to make many visits to the hospital, as well as to look after their one-year-old daughter.

He says: "There's not enough living space for two maids and I could do without potential squabbles."

eveyap@sph.com.sg

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