When night falls

SINGAPORE - I believe in 'early to bed, early to rise'. But being a morning person means I'm a boring party-pooper too.

H is perplexed - and increasingly irritated - by how I don't like going out at night.

Take our recent holiday to Japan with my mother.

We spent nine nights in Kyoto last month, and because it's winter now, the sun sets at about 4.30pm. On six of those nights, we were back in our rented house by 5pm.

On two other nights, we had (early) dinner outside and returned at about 8pm.

On the last night of the trip, we went to watch a kabuki performance and got back only at - gasp! - 10pm. Let's go out tonight, he'd suggest enthusiastically at the start of our holiday.

I'd shake my head and say: Don't think so.

He'd ask why, and I'd give a string of excuses:

You know already that I don't like going out at night.

It's too dark.

It's dangerous.

I'll be sleepy.

It's winter.

It'll be too cold.

Isn't it more fun to stay in, or at least more comfortable and warm?

Anyway, if we want to go for a run tomorrow morning, we need to sleep early.

And so, most nights of our holiday were spent eating dinner in. The three of us would then play several rounds of poker, read, watch TV and be in bed by 10pm.

The nights were relaxing and pleasant, but looking back at the trip, they sure were unexciting.

The irony was, we had rented a machiya - a traditional wooden Japanese house - smack in Gion, an area bursting with restaurants, geisha sightings and all manner of nightlife.

Even my mother, who's 78, was more keen than me to check out the night scene.

One day, we decided to visit the port city of Kobe. We took the shinkansen and it was about a one-hour journey all in, with a transfer at the Shin-Osaka station.

I'd read that there was a touristy area in Kobe called Kitano-cho with quaint Western-styled houses, cafes and shops. We made our way there and spent a few leisurely hours walking around.

By then, it was 2pm and we headed to a mall for lunch.

My mother, meanwhile, kept talking about the Kobe Luminarie. It's a light festival that has been held every December in the city since 1995, to mark the horrible earthquake that year. More than 200,000 hand-painted lights are lit up every evening for about two weeks.

The light-up was on when we visited. My mother, who has never seen it, kept saying she had heard it was very beautiful.

I didn't take the hint.

When H said outright that we should go check out the lights later, I protested. Oh no, I said, we need to go back to Kyoto. It's already starting to get dark and the train journey is complicated. In fact, we need to set off right now.

And so that became yet another day we got back by 5pm.

It was the same story when we took a trip to Tokyo towards the end of our holiday.

It's a long journey even by bullet train - nearly three hours one way. We left in the morning, headed straight for Ginza to a sushi restaurant I like, then checked out my favourite shop in Roppongi, by which time, it was already 4pm.

Time to make our way back to Kyoto, I announced to my mum and H. They knew by then not to argue with me.

On the journey back, the train made a stop at the city of Nagoya. The sky was pitch dark by then and the buildings surrounding the station were twinkling with lights. Throngs of people were walking in the streets. Christmas was a week away and you could sense the festivity in the air.

Hey, let's check out Nagoya, said H, half getting out of his seat. Let's just do it. Get off the train right now.

My mother was persuadable, but once again, I got my way.

Are you okay, H asked later. Why don't you want to go out at night and see the sights? We're on holiday.

You can always stay at home when we're in Singapore.

Which is what I do.

I get home at about 9pm most work days, but on weekends and days off, we hardly ever go out at night. I tell H that I can't help it if I'm a lark, a morning person, and not a night owl.

I'm sorry, but you married someone who believes in the "early to bed, early to rise" mantra.

Like other morning people, I am most alert and productive in the early part of the day. My favourite meal is breakfast, I'm chattier and chirpier in the morning, and if I must exercise, I would much rather do it soon after I wake up than last thing at night.

My body starts winding down once night falls. I have less energy and all I want to do is crawl into bed. I wasn't always like that though.

In my teens, 20s and even 30s, I spent a lot more time doing stuff at night.

Parties, karaoke sessions and dinners that dragged on forever were not uncommon.

I lived for spur-of-the-moment midnight drives, suppers that spilled into the wee morning hours, sitting on a deserted beach with a friend gazing at the stars.

The most exciting things happened at night and I loved the mystery, romance and possibilities that came with dusk. I was always game for a night-time adventure.

Age has blunted that spirit and I've since caved in to the circadian rhythms of a morning person.

These days, it's more important that I get my sleep. Somewhere along the way, I also became a more timid person. Nights are no longer full of promise but of foreboding, and I associate them with things that can go wrong.

But it's time to change.

Life's too short to be living only in the day - and for the day - and to be scared of the shadows of the night. If I don't get out of my comfort zone now, I'll end up one of those people who go to bed at eight.

I look back at all the holidays we've been on and all those nights cooped up in hotel rooms watching TV when we could have been out, having more fun and making better memories.

It's time to be brave and see the world in a different light.

At the very least, it'll make me a less boring travelling companion to my mum and H.

sumiko@sph.com.sg

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