Dirty divorce tricks: 'He paid my ex-lover to take intimate photos of us'
PUBLISHED ONJuly 29, 2014 4:06 AMByBenita Aw Yeong
Divorce rates here have soared from 1,721 cases in 1980 to 7,237 in 2012.
Private detectives, lawyers and divorcees tell Benita Aw Yeong how ugly it can get.
Divorcee Pang C.C. admits that the spark died not long after the wedding.
"We already fell out of love in the second year of our marriage, but I didn't want a divorce because I was pregnant," says the 33-year-old general manager, whose marriage officially ended last year.
What she did not anticipate, however, was the "monster" she claims her 37-year-old ex-husband, who runs an IT services company, turned into.
"We were both having affairs. My husband found out and forced my then-lover, who was still an undergraduate, to take photos of us being intimate," she says.
"He told my ex-lover that if he did not comply, he would reveal the relationship to my ex-lover's school's dean and parents."
Ms Pang and her ex-husband had dated for six years before they got married. They had met at a job fair where she was handling some logistics for his company.
Eventually, it was his philandering ways that drove them apart, she claims.
In the incident involving her ex-husband and her ex-lover, the younger man eventually caved in and handed over photos that were later used to arm-twist Ms Pang over custody of their six-year-old son.
"I found out about what my then-lover did when my ex-husband showed me the photos. I later found out that he was also paid $5,000 for the deed," she says.
She broke up with her lover immediately after finding out that he had cashed the cheque given by her ex-husband.
Despite his threats to expose her affair, Ms Pang refused to grant her ex-husband custody of their son.
In retaliation, he took the boy to China, where he had a mistress.
"He took my son to Guangzhou during the December school holidays in 2012," she says, recalling the four painful months she had no contact with their son.
"I begged my mother-in-law to tell me where they were. He changed his handphone number. I made a police report."
The boy, who was then too young to have a mobile phone, was not allowed to call home.
Ms Pang also claims that her ex-husband told the boy that his mother had been posted to New York for work.
When her ex-husband returned to Singapore in April without their son, she felt rage, shock, helplessness and frustration.
"He told me that if I made a police report about him taking my son away, he would show everyone the photographs of my lover and me being intimate," she says.
Forced into a corner, she decided to go on the offensive. Ms Pang hired a private investigator who tailed him when he next visited China.
"He took videos of my husband, his mistress and my son. The PI found out that when my husband was not in China, there were two other men who also visited the mistress.
"The PI also discovered that those men were also married," says Ms Pang, who shelled out $10,000 for the PI's services, which included the cost of air tickets and accommodation.
The tables were turned when the two met at the lawyer's office, where Ms Pang's PI presented his findings.
"I was very happy when I saw how angry he was. He even cried. I told him that crying was of no use," she says.
"I told him to simply give my son back."
Ms Pang says he eventually gave up the fight for custody. A week later, she was reunited with her only child, and soon after, was awarded custody.
Despite the ordeal, Ms Pang claims that she no longer feels hate for her ex-husband and has forgiven him.
"I really hated him for taking my son away, and for making my lover betray me. He really made my heart break.
"But I have forgiven him because I think he has suffered enough," she says, adding that her son sees her ex-husband every other weekend.
He also pays $50 in maintenance to her. She says she does not need his money as she is financially independent.
When asked about re-marriage, her answer is a firm "no". But that has not stopped her from finding love again.
"Now I have a boyfriend and we are living together. He loves my son very much and my son loves him, too," she says.
benitaay@sph.com.sg
This article was first published on July 27, 2014.
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