How to say no to sex... nicely

Turning him down doesn't have to mean hurting his feelings. Eight women tell Sasha Gonzales how they tell their husbands that they are not in the mood for love.

 "When I'm really tired, I just tell my hubby the truth - in a nice way - and promise to wake him up with a quickie the next morning. The prospect of morning sex never fails to make him smile." - Connie*, 33, entrepreneur

"We get intimate in other ways, for example, cuddling and kissing. That's usually enough for us when I'm too tired for anything else." - Lisa*, 37, sales manager

"When I'm not in the mood, I'll give my man a full-body massage, because I know that always puts him straight to sleep!" - Gwen*, 28, events management executive

"I tell my husband that I'm super tired, and ask if he's okay with non-penetrative sex. He almost always is." - Celeste*, 27, marketing executive

"If I'm not up for sex for whatever reason, I always tell my husband why, but very politely. I might be angry with him, for example, and I'd let him know that I need time to cool down before I'm ready to make love to him again." - Francesca*, 36, banker

"I try to negotiate with him. I'll say: 'I need to sleep for a while now, honey - you can wake me up in the middle of the night and we'll do it then." - Louise*, 40, entrepreneur

"I say something like: 'Dear, I really, really want to make love with you tonight, but I am soooo tired. Let's skip it tonight, and tomorrow, I'll let you have me any way you want.' Works every time!" - Angie*, 37, real estate broker

"When I'm not in the mood for sex, I get my hubby to hug me from behind... he feels so close and connected to me that he doesn't mind that I'm not in the mood." - Mindy*, 40, freelance writer

*Names have been changed.

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