If only we had not rushed into it

If only we had not rushed into it

She was a marketing and public relations student who was popular and outgoing.

He was in the engineering course, geeky and introverted.

But they became a couple in their final year at the polytechnic.

"I never thought someone as pretty as her would go for a guy like me," the engineer, who wants to be known only as John, 36, tells The New Paper on Sunday.

"We dated and then one day, she told me she was pregnant."

They got married two months after their graduation. He was 24 and she, 21.

"Our friends and relatives were shocked at how fast we decided to get hitched but we had no choice," he says.

Their daughter was born five months after the wedding.


John wanted to provide as best as he could for his young family. He got a job as an aviation technician instead of continuing his studies.

"I worked hard to make ends meet, often working long hours," he says.

His wife was a stay-at-home mother for three years. "She was looking after our daughter, and I guess she felt neglected.

"Her friends, who were working, dressed up and went to parties. She felt left out and got angry," says John.

That resentment caused a rift between them and they quarrelled all the time.

John recalls: "It was so bad that my aunts suggested having a second kid might help bring us closer."

It did not. Things got worse after their son was born.

By then, John had signed up for part-time courses, hoping that a degree would mean more income.

It was at the same time his wife decided that she wanted to help out with the finances.

He says: "She got a job with a PR agency, leaving our kids in the care of my mother and my aunt. She became much happier and was easier to live with."

But six months into the job, she started keeping long hours.

"Sometimes, she would come back at 2am, smelling like she had been smoking and drinking.

"Sometimes, she didn't come home at all," he says with a sad tinge in his voice. That was when he suspected she was seeing someone.

"She would be smiling at her phone. She even lost interest in the children.

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