I'm 15 and hate myself after rejection by childhood love

I'm 15 and hate myself after rejection by childhood love

Dear Troubleshooter:

I'm a 15-year-old girl, and I've been depressed after being rejected by a childhood friend for whom I'd had feelings for a long time.

Since I was rejected by him, I've hated myself, thinking I'm not good-looking, I've got a bad personality and have no good points as a girl.

Recently at school, more and more of my classmates are going out.

When I hear that this girl and that boy have gotten together or when I see my friends happy after getting a boyfriend, I find myself becoming jealous of them.

I can't honestly congratulate them from the bottom of my heart and just end up being jealous of them. I really hate how I think.

Also, I've begun thinking, "I will never find a boyfriend my whole life," and "I'm not confident in my appearance, unlike this or that girl." In the end, I give up on myself and become very sad.

I want to get over this vicious cycle and become a person who can truly congratulate other people on their happiness.

How can I become more confident?

I, Fukuoka Prefecture

Dear Ms. I:

You are heartbroken now, but the situation will not last your whole life. You can absolutely meet somebody who truly loves you. He will be so much better than the childhood friend who rejected you. So lift up your spirits and go forward ...

If you thought I'd actually write anything like the above in seriousness, you've got another think coming.

You should feel more despair. Think for a bit. You had only him in your world. The only boy for you did not respond with love to your affection for him. This is probably the saddest thing for you. Your world is over. It's natural that you have an empty feeling inside.

But you try to cover up your feelings. You cheat yourself and are just running away.

Did you write you wanted to congratulate from the bottom of your heart those who look so happy in love? Don't write such pretty words. If you are jealous of others, it means you think you are equal to them. It also means you still don't know what it's like to be at rock bottom.

If you are frustrated and feel bitter, cry your eyes out until you look terrible.

When you feel you can't go any lower, you have no option other than rising again. It's surprisingly refreshing.

This is a small piece of advice from a woman who told a boy that she was in love with him by gathering up all her courage when she was a high school student and was severely rejected by him.

Hazuki Saisho, writer

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