Mumspeak decoded

Sometimes when mum says one thing, what she really means is something else altogether.

Here's a light-hearted look at what mum is really trying to tell you:

What she says:

It's very expensive, you don't have to buy it for me.

What she really means:

I really want it, but I won't say it. But if you get it for me, I will be really happy.

What she says:

You didn't have to spend so much money on me! Aiyah so wasteful!

What she really means:

Thank you! It really wasn't necessary but I am sure going to tell the nosy neighbour next door.

What she says:

Would you like to come over for dinner on Sunday?

What she really means:

Come over. Why have you forgotten about the woman who gave birth to you.

What she says:

Are you really wearing that to (insert family event here)?

What she really means:

Don't you dare. Get changed!

What she says:

Ask your father.

What she really means:

It's time for your father to be the bad guy.

What she says:

Don't drink that, it's mummy's medicine.

What she really means:

That's my wine. Back off.

What she says:

Eat . I prepared it for you.

What she really means:

I love you with all my heart, and nothing in this world will ever stop me from loving you. I want to hug and kiss you to little bits, but I am resisting.

- Catherine Robert

This article was first published on May 10, 2015.
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