My mum, the time-keeper

Throughout her life, actress Izyan Mellyna Ishak, 27, has worn many hats - student, nurse, football player and businesswoman - often juggling two of those heavy-duty roles at the same time.

She credits her mother, preschool principal Mastura Khalid, 52, for instilling in her good time-management skills.

Growing up, Izyan and her two siblings - an elder brother who is an information technology engineer, 29, and a younger sister, 23, a part-time student -but M had their daily routines planned out.

Says Madam Mastura, principal of the Mountbatten branch of the PAP Community Foundation (PCF) kindergarten: "Once my children turned three or four, I created weekly timetables for them- what time to wake up, shower, go to school, take a nap, do their prayers, among others. Then it's lights out at 8.30pm."

"I wanted them to have an idea of how to manage their time and prioritise the things they need to do."

Says Izyan: "I think, because of the timetables, I am all about organisation. I started to make my own timetables for school, for acting and for everything else."

She is starring as a hijab-wearing woman who becomes a wrestler against her mother's wishes in comedy-drama Banting, Singapore's first commercially released Malay-language movie since the 1970s.

Madam Mastura is the reason Izyan is now an actress - she enrolled both daughters in acting, singing and dancing workshops when they were young. Her son preferred football.

From these workshops, Izyan was scouted and made her debut as a dancer in Malay children TV show Ya Alif! at the age of eight. She later also acted, sang and became a presenter on the show.

Since then, her acting resume has included performances of The Vagina Monologues in Canada and The F Word in Scotland, both in 2011.

After getting her nursing diploma, she worked as a nurse for three years at Singapore General Hospital, then Outward Bound Singapore, before setting up her own wedding planning business last year.

Her husband is a 29-year-old senior technician.

Her father, a 55-year-old safety co-ordinator, was out of the country for a work trip when the interview was conducted at Madam Mastura's workplace.

In the movie Banting, your character kept her involvement in wrestling a secret from her mother. Have you gone through a rebellious phase in life and done something similar with your mother?

Izyan: I can't hide anything from my mother, it's like she can read my mind. When my Primary School Leaving Examination was coming up, I had to go home straight after school. Once, I decided to stay back to play a game of Captain's Ball for half an hour, thinking she would not notice. But when I came home, she knew I had been playing sports after school when I was not supposed to.

How did you discipline your children, for example, if they did not follow their timetables?

Madam Mastura: I would talk to them and take some of their privileges away. I didn't use the cane and I rarely scolded them. I don't believe in corporal punishment because when I was growing up, I was never caned.

Izyan: I would get no sweets, no ice cream and no treats, and I wouldn't be able to watch Power Rangers in the morning.

What is the relationship between the two of you like?

Izyan: She's like my best friend. I can tell her everything. I was very comfortable talking to her about anything. We are very open with each other.

Madam Mastura: I've always encouraged my children to express themselves so they would not feel like they had to hide any secrets from me.

Your mother was one of your teachers when you were in kindergarten. What was that like?

Izyan: In school, my siblings and I could not call her "mama" - we had to address her as "Mrs Mas". She would treat us like all the other kids. We didn't get any special treatment.

Madam Mastura: Well, it was definitely convenient for me because she was right there in front of me while I was working. I got to spend time with them at work and at home, and the bond between us became stronger because of that.

Who is stricter - mum or dad?

Izyan: Mum was. Dad was quite laid-back, he would always say, "Go ask your mother".

Madam Mastura: I agree. My husband is the type who would never raise his voice. He never punished the children. But they are closer to me because I was always with them.

Why did you decide to send Izyan to an acting, singing and dancing workshop when she was a child?

Madam Mastura: She was very quiet, too shy. She didn't want to speak up, didn't want to meet people. When her cousins and relatives came to the house, she would hide from them. So when she was seven, I decided to send her to the workshop to build up her confidence.

Besides being shy, what was Izyan like as a child?

Madam Mastura: She had an active imagination and she was always very creative.

I remember on my birthdays, instead of simply wishing me "happy birthday", she would come up with two to three pages worth of stories for me instead. She was also good in art and was very creative with her dolls, she would put make-up on them and dress them up.

Izyan, you were a regular part of children's television show Ya Alif! for a good part of your primary school years. How did you juggle the show with your studies?

Izyan: Whenever we had breaks in between rehearsals and recordings, my mum would take out my schoolbooks and make me do homework and revision, and she would supervise.

Madam Mastura: They did okay in school, so I was never worried that being part of the show would affect their studies.

Were you surprised when Izyan chose to study nursing in polytechnic?

Madam Mastura: By the time she was in secondary school, I gave her a lot of leeway in making her own choices because I believed that she was capable of making her own decisions.

Izyan: A lot of people were expecting me to take up media-related studies but I felt that nursing was my calling. But I never stopped taking up acting roles even when I was working full-time as a nurse.

I stopped being a full-time nurse because I found myself getting too emotional. I liked doing it and I have no regrets, but I get too attached to patients and I found myself getting depressed.

What kind of a mother do you think Izyan would be?

Madam Mastura: I want her to be stricter than I was actually - discipline is the most important thing. I see some young parents who are too lenient with their children. I see kids scolding and screaming at their own parents, some even use four-letter words on them.

Izyan: I know one thing for sure, no iPad. I get very turned off when I see families having a meal and they leave their iPad and iPhone switched on for the child to watch videos while they eat. I think that leads to a very unhealthy relationship between the parents and the child.

If the parent-child roles were reversed, what would you do differently?

Izyan: I just had this conversation with my husband. I wouldn't do anything differently. I would discipline my children the same way my mother did. No physical punishment but take away their privileges instead. And oh yes, I would definitely come up with the timetables too.

Madam Mastura: I wouldn't do anything different, I would follow the timetables too.

dinohadi@sph.com.sg

Banting is showing in cinemas.

This article was first published on Nov 2, 2014.
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