S'porean men in their 40s who date women more than half their age

S'porean men in their 40s who date women more than half their age

They're in their mid-40s and date women more than half their age. Sasha Gonzales talks to two local guys whose girlfriends are still in university, and finds out what draws them to these much younger partners.

*Not their real names.


'SHE MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE' -Andy, 45, creative consultant 

I first laid eyes on Samantha* at a pub several months ago. She was celebrating her 20th birthday with her friends, and I was instantly captivated by the way she laughed, as though she didn't have a care in the world.

"I had recently turned 45 - but I look much younger than my age - and I approached Samantha. I wasn't thinking about a relationship at that point; I just felt compelled to get to know her.

FRIENDS FIRST, LOVERS LATER

"Samantha and I had a mutual friend who introduced us that night (and who also told me Samantha's age). We hit it off from the start. I offered to take her out for coffee the next day, and she accepted. She didn't seem to mind that I was in my mid-40s.

"We met and talked all afternoon. I've never been married before but I've dated my share of women, and I can honestly say that I've never met anyone like Samantha.

The youngest woman I'd dated before Samantha was 25, but that relationship didn't last as we weren't compatible.

Ever since I was in my 30s, I have preferred dating younger women as I am young at heart. I've had around eight relationships that lasted several months and have had many more flings.

"I found out that Samantha was studying law and that we had plenty in common - we both liked the same movies and music, and we loved to play pool and tennis.

"We were friends for about three months before we started getting physical. The first time we had sex, it was lovely.

Even though Samantha had not had sex before, she seemed to be in tune with my body.

She knew what to do and where to touch me. It was a special night for us both.

A WHOLE LOT OF FUN

"What I love most about Samantha is that she's fun - and funny.

She makes me laugh, which is something that most women I've dated find hard to do.

She has a light-hearted and somewhat naive view about life, which I find attractive.

She doesn't complain about anything.

When I'm not with her, I miss her terribly.

"How does she feel about dating a guy more than twice her age?

She says that age is just a number, and because I am young at heart and I look young, she feels like she is dating someone in his early 30s.

She prefers men who are a bit mature, anyway, because she says guys her age don't know how to treat women.

Her friends think that I am a bit too old for her, but they support her because she is happy with me.

"The best part about my relationship with Samantha is that I can be myself. She accepts me for who I am and is not demanding. Perhaps that has something to do with her age, but it could also be due to the fact that I'm young at heart. She doesn't take life too seriously and always comes up with the best ideas for spending time together.

"I pay for our dates but not her daily expenses. For Christmas, I bought her a smartphone and a designer bag that cost about $2,500.

"She's spontaneous, adventurous, and excited and enthusiastic about life - her youthful energy is very infectious. These are the main reasons why I've stayed with her.

Nine months is a long time for me to be with someone.

In the past, I'd date a woman for six, maybe seven, months at the most, or until the relationship stopped being fun and fizzled out.

TAKING IT SLOW

"Samantha's mum is only a few years older than I am, but she's pretty open-minded and doesn't mind me seeing her daughter. Samantha's dad passed away many years ago, but if he were still around, I have no doubt that he and I would get along.

"I am not close to my family, so my folks don't know who I am dating. I don't tell them much, but I'll probably bring Samantha along when I next visit them. My friends know that my girlfriend is 25 years younger.

Some of them think it's disgusting, but I feel that Samantha and I are consenting adults.

Anyway, who says we have to get anybody's approval to fall in love? My other friends - guys, mostly - tell me that I'm lucky.

"I love Samantha a lot, but as she is still so young, I'm not thinking about marriage just yet.

I want her to graduate, get a job, and establish herself professionally.

If we are still together in five years' time, then maybe I'll propose.

"I want her to live a little first. In the meantime, it's great just being with her and enjoying what she has to offer.

When I'm with her, I feel like I'm in my carefree 20s again. She makes me feel alive, like I can do and be anything. It's something I haven't felt in a long, long time."

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