I'm a man in my early 50s, and I'm staying at a hospital for treatment. I've almost recovered, but I've fallen in love at first sight with a female doctor at the hospital. Since then, I've been suffering from heartache.
I'm wondering if I'll continue being hospitalized here. Of course, I haven't told my wife anything about this. The hospital is packed with inpatients, so I think I'm about to be released.
I have no idea whether I should summon the courage to tell her that I love her or if I should forget this forbidden love.
I'm struggling every day with the anguish of not being able to tell her my feelings.
But if I tell her that I love her, what will happen? That's what I'm worried about. She is a doctor and I am a patient, so our positions and intellectual levels are different.
But even if she is a doctor, I think I'm allowed to have a male-female relationship with her. Please give me some good advice.
G, Kanagawa Prefecture
Dear Mr. G:
As I write this answer, you'll probably have left the hospital already. Hospitals don't admit patients for very long these days.
Frankly speaking, this matter stems simply from your selfish wish or, I'd rather say, desire, because it seems to me you aren't being considerate of her happiness.
As you said, this is a temporary infatuation.
Some novels whitewash such a situation and inflame it further by ignoring the public eye and how much it would hurt other people.
In some stories, the man carries the woman off and if she responds positively, the star-crossed lovers perish together.
If she doesn't, the man kills the woman or otherwise behaves outrageously and is punished in the end. What romantic (?) conclusions!
But I warn you, you should leave this as a delusional dream. You'll awake from the dream sooner or later. If you don't, other people will shun you.
I think you're already aware of this. Was sending this letter a way to save yourself?
You may have already wakened from the daydream. So I hope what I write here is only unnecessary, foolish talk now.
Taku Mayumura, writer