5 people who are secretly happy about the ban on Valentine's Day

PHOTO: Dawn/Asia News Network

Valentine's Day has been banned in Pakistan... and noone seems to care.

There's no furious hashtagging on Twitter, no one's made a sarcastic meme (yet) and we guess it's too early in the week to think about protests and rallies. Yawn.

Why the silence, we wonder?

Could it be that people don't care about Valentine's and the government's actually wasted time, resources and possibly taxpayer money in announcing an exceedingly irrelevant ban? Nah, they wouldn't do thaaat.

Maaaybe, people are secretly happy about the ban. Yes, that has to be it.

Here's 5 kinds of people who could be secretly happy about the ban on Valentine's Day celebrations.

1) Single people. Duh.

As Bina Shah tweeted with mock candour, "I'm single so I hate Valentine's Day anyway. You should all be as miserable as me."

Clapping for honesty.

2) Workaholics

"Valentine's is falling on a Tuesday this year. Totally inconvenient! I could have a meeting that day... My boss usually calls me in the evening... I can't afford a late night in the middle of the week..."

Just marry your job, okay?

3) The *kanjoos* (cheapskates)

You were probably as happy about this ban as you were sad about the blocking of torrents.

"Oh no sweety, I can't take you out to that nice cafe. How about we make Maggi at home and watch a movie on my laptop?"

Phft, cheapskate.

4) The conspiracy theorist

"Let's get real. Valentine's Day is all an invention of the Illuminati. The whole concept of chocolates on V-day is a yahoodi saazish, cupid is a RAW agent and global warming is a hoax. Wake up people."

How do you sleep at night, bro?

5) The hipster

"Ugh, Valentine's Day is so commercial. Chocolates are overrated, have you ever tried kale? I'm going to follow the South Korean tradition of Candle Day."

Yeah, we don't know what that is but we doubt you do either.

Valentine's Day celebrations around the world

  • A couple poses for pictures with an art installation to celebrate Valentine's Day at the Times Square in New York
  • A Syrian man hands a balloon to a girl in front of a shop selling Valentine's day gifts in the northeastern city of Qamishli
  • Vendors pack a bunch of red roses for upcoming Valentine's Day at a flower market in Beijing, China
  • A couple takes a selfie in front of decorations ahead of Valentine's Day in down town Beirut, Lebanon
  • A couple walk near a heart-shaped walkway displayed at a park in Manila
  • An Iraqi Kurdish man spray-paints hearts in anticipation for Valentine's Day, in a street in Arbil, the capital of the Kurdish autonomous region in northern Iraq
  • A woman carries a bunch of roses in Sydney
  • Freshly picked roses, intended for sale for Valentine's Day, are seen at a greenhouse in Moshav Berekhya
  • A female security guard sits next to flowers displayed at a shop inside a shopping mall, ahead of Valentine's Day, in Ashkelon
  • Iraqi men shop for flowers on the eve of Valentine's Day in Baghdad's al-Mansour
  • Syrians sit outside a cafe bearing the image of President Bashar al-Assad as a shop nearby sells Valentine's Day gifts, in the old part of the capital Damascus
  • A Pakistani woman carries heart shaped balloons after buying them from the flower market in Islamabad.