"I'm willing to give up my weekly betting column in ROAR! if Woodlands break into the top six."
With this immortal line, my colleague Ali Kasim has lost his place - the Rams finished fifth last season.
The New Paper's new roster of tipsters is ready for action, and yours truly has replaced Ali.
Like any good football manager, I've decided to bring in my own "backroom staff".
After Chinese New Year, it's out with the old and in with the new, and I'm pleased to announce the new faces brought in to help with tips and some analysis for your consideration.
First up is veteran tipster Brian Miller, a marked man at Singapore Pools outlets these days for his very reliable picks.
He has topped TNP's English Premier League betting column year after year.
Ever the modest man, he said: "I don't see myself topping the table in this 'rookie' season. Given time, I hope to have the other tipsters sweating and looking over their shoulders."
There's also the lovely Kelly Latimer.
The sweet and sassy S.League presenter has just signed her singlehood away, but we've got her on loan this season and we'll see if her women's intuition will stand out in what is traditionally a testosterone-filled contest.
Downplaying her debut, Kelly said: "Umm, my analytical skills include a mystical husky and a couple of doggie biscuits."
My team will also feature Mr X, a familiar face in the punting world.
He's out to prove a point and we will reveal his identity at the end of the season.
"I've been betting on the S.League since 1998 and I'm going to top the charts simply because I have experience, loads of it," said Mr X.
I am new to betting columns, so I'm not going to brag. But, with a keen eye for detail mixed with my steely mental strength, I know I'll be right up there at the end of this marathon.
Mirroring the S.League, the tipsters will not be subjected to a relegation system.
But, to make things interesting, the one who finishes bottom of the rankings will have to perform a forfeit he or she has pledged before the big kick-off between Tampines Rovers and Home United tonight.
Said Brian: "Should I finish in the doghouse, I might as well do something for the dogs - if I finish last, I will sacrifice a precious Saturday morning cleaning kennels at SPCA."
Mr X, meanwhile, will dress up like an S.League Superbabe and do a dance routine with them at the RHB Singapore Cup final, if he becomes the cellar-dweller.
The top tipster will have a special prize: Kelly will become his personal assistant for a day if she finishes bottom.
As for me, I will put my head on the chopping block and shave my top.
Let the S.League begin and may the odds be ever in your favour.
Get The New Paper for more stories.