Decorate it my way

SINGAPORE - A scene in the 1989 romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally, where a couple bicker over a wagon wheel coffee table, illustrates well the subjectiveness of taste - and how lovers can fall out over it.

With soaring home prices now, couples want to make the most of their home spruce-ups which can go up to six-figure sums, say those SundayLife! spoke to.

But when interior design ideas are polar opposites, couples say they clash over the use of space, colour and finishing.

There are stalemates and cold wars.

Such was the case for global human resources manager A. Rajendran, 38, and her customer services manager husband K.L. See, 48.

Originally from India, she is a Singapore permanent resident of 12 years. She met her Singaporean husband at their former workplace. Married for 10 years, they have adjusted to the cultural differences. For instance, he now loves Indian vegetarian food and she takes chicken rice.

But it was the proverbial pebble in the shoe that tripped them.

Their present five-room HDB flat in Clementi boasts full-length windows with clear views of the west coast.

It is their second flat but "first real home", says Ms Rajendran because they chose not to do up their first abode, a four-room HDB flat in the same estate. They have an eight-year-old daughter.

"I was willing to spend, have a hand in designing everything from colour to material to layout," she says. "I like maroon and gold. I wanted modern vintage so I was looking for chandeliers and touches of copper. I wanted an interior designer to flesh out the vision."

He wanted a beige palette and to keep things cheap. "I told her, 'If you know what you want, just point to pictures and get a contractor to do that'," says Mr See.

While an interior designer's vision would cost around $30,000, a contractor's package would be cheaper by at least half.

A "World War III cycle" ensued late last year, says Ms Rajendran. She recalls of the challenging period: "If we fought in the evening, we'd keep quiet at night, mull over it the next day at work and then try to talk again that evening."

A truce was called (read: she won). They moved into their current home two months ago. "He's a good man. He gave in to me," says Ms Rajendran.

Interior decorating firm Lux Design's designer Desmond Wong, 33, notes that in today's dual-income households, both parties "want to be heard".

When push comes to shove, the designer plays the role of an informal counsellor but must take a side.

He says: "It's more like I have to help the wife convince the husband that she has made a good choice, whether it's in the colour or fabric selection."

But in his family, his wife of three months, bank administrator Joyce Chia, 31, must defer to him, he says.

She likes the classic look - think upright Victorian-style armchairs. He likes modern resort - "defined wood grains, glass and water features", he says.

He is drawing the plans for their four-room HDB flat in Punggol which will be ready two years later. They are currently living apart. He says: "I'll press home my style. I'll tell her, 'I'm an interior designer. You have to trust me on this.'"

But Ms Chia says, tongue in cheek: "I'll give him a chance to convince me."

Mr Richard Tio of Architects Team 3 says space is a matter of self-expression. Couples can compromise by "allowing for fusion at the fringes".

Mr Tio, 51, an architect of 21 years, says: "The planter balcony could be one person's favourite space while the TV settee is the partner's space. The fusion area is the space in between, where they can have a common idea."

Indeed, couples say opposing interior decor styles are not deal- breakers because, eventually, they compromise.

Banking executives Stanley Chong and Evelyn Tan, in their 30s, share their HUDC executive apartment in Hougang with their sons, Cayden, three, and one-month-old Joshua. They spent $100,000 sprucing up the 27-year-old flat.

They wanted to wallpaper the home but "spent days in shops in lengthy discussions over which one to use for which rooms, and which walls", says Mr Chong.

He got a New York City skyscraper wallpaper in the study where he plays computer games while she chose dark brown wallpaper with red hibiscus, and spotlight lighting, in the master bedroom.

But the balcony was a "stalemate", says Ms Tan. She wanted to turn the space into part of the living room. He did not.

She gave in and has not regretted it. The balcony yields chilli padi, basil and lady's finger that her husband grows, which she uses in her cooking.

Fortunately, for life-skills lecturer Pamela Koh, 30, and civil servant Sam Lee, 32, a shared love of country-style decor was "half the battle won".

The couple bought their four-room HDB flat in Tampines in 2008 but held off renovations as they were saving for their wedding in April the following year.

The spruce-up came only in 2010. They spent $60,000, building on the previous owner's country-kitchen style and their memories of Texas where Mr Lee spent a period of six months for work.

He insisted only on brick-tiling the whole house except for two bedrooms.

A mock fireplace, sandwiched between walnut brown cabinets, and a feature wall with the horns of Texas famous Longhorn bulls and a huge hanging cowboy-style rug are highlights.

Using a home-designing software also made discussions "a lot easier", says Ms Koh. She adds: "Our home evolved with us and we had peace on earth."

In renovating his three marital homes so far, Mr Mohamad Ridwan Othman has been on both the winning and losing sides.

His wife of 11 years, Ms Noor Aslina Niti, 38, lectures at the Institute of Technical Education College East. They have no children.

Both were design greenhorns but he had his way with their first home, says Mr Ridwan, 39, a senior assistant director at the Nanyang Technological University.

Bought in 2001, the five-room HDB flat in Tampines was painted in hues such as apricot, yellow and beige for a different feel to each room, he says.

Eight years later, their second home - a condominium apartment in Simei - saw Ms Aslina, who read magazines and online sites, gain the upper hand. All rooms were painted greyish blue and light-coloured wood was used for cupboards.

Their current home proved to be a balance between their choices. The apartment in an Upper Changi Road condominium blends shades of grey on walls and white ceilings with "pops" of reds and oranges in items such as cushions.

Their tip on how to manage a couple's differing decor tastes is to draw up lists and look at visuals.

Ms Aslina says: "You focus on common likes rather than emotions, and visuals help both to be on the same page."

Her husband quips: "Guys tend to start out wanting to assert their authority, not knowing that it will be undermined. I realised over time to let the wife decide. So life is better."

Ms Aslina adds: "But don't give in altogether because any silent unhappiness can manifest itself in the marriage."