The electric car revolution is missing a barf bag. Too bad. You're about to need one.
On Tuesday night, Faraday Future-an aspirant Tesla competitor very much on the rise-debuted their FF 91 electric car at CES in Vegas.
The car looks pretty amazing.
But the presentation overflowed with enough meaningless tech jargon to fry your motherboard, or make you roll your eyes right out of your head.
Over the course of the 70-minute showcase (which you can watch below), Faraday referred to its ride as:
"The first of a new species."
"The world's first ecosystem-connected car."
"[An] intelligent entity [that] is also a caring entity."
And: "The car that may not be a car at all."
Oh, also, there was the car's "avant-garde proportion and silhouette."
(If you haven't yet heaved, Quartz's Mike Murphy collected more.)
And again: Mashable saw the FF 91-an all-electric beast that can drive itself-and, yeah, we were impressed.
It's neat-looking, and theoretically emblematic of the future for automobiles.
The car's connected to the internet, it doesn't require fossil fuels, and it knows how to drive itself without crashing.
It should go without saying, but the future of transportation is the future of our economies.
Driverless trucks, for example, are the first dominos that could topple 3.5 million jobs in the United States, to say nothing of ripple effects that will spread to local businesses, towns and cities.
It's why Faraday's presentation may be the most significant out of CES this year.
And it's also why the self-aggrandizing nonsense of Faraday's presentation is so plainly and pointedly loathsome.
"It's time to learn about the astonishing achievements that we've achieved in artificial intelligence and autonomous technologies," said Nick Sampson, Faraday's obligatory bald-guy-in-a-dark-suit-presenting-for-tech-press (and senior vice president of engineering).
Astonishing achieved achievements: Fantastic! Alliterative! Meaningless! Digital!
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