One doesn't simply love Emily Browning.
One crazy loves Emily Browning.
Again and again, this strange-looking yet beautiful 25-year-old Australian actress has played the object of obsession for assorted weirdos.
She's the queen of the Bad Romance.
In Pompeii, she catches the eye of a sociopathic Roman senator, Corvus (Kiefer Sutherland).
After stalking her for a year in the capital, he follows her to her hometown.
He eventually threatens to kill her parents if he can't have her.
The surest sign of his madness is that he won't bow out when Kit Harington enters the picture. What kind of a maniac thinks he can compete for a chick with Jon Snow?
Not even an erupting volcano can deter him.
It isn't what you'd call a healthy relationship, but then Browning has been involved in a lot of unhealthy relationships, at least as far as movies go.
The first film where I really took notice of her was Sucker Punch, that leering fantasy adventure about babes trying to escape from the loony bin.
In order for them to collect the tools needed for their plan, Browning's lead character Babydoll performs erotic dances to distract their oppressors.
It's one of the oddest movies you'll ever see, but she's beguiling.
In Sleeping Beauty, she plays a prostitute who's drugged into unconsciousness before meeting her clients.
She becomes their doll, their toy.
For the men, she becomes the perfect fantasy object - a woman who is all exterior and no interior.
In Plush, she's a rocker chick who cheats on her husband with an obsessive guitarist whose plot to be with her involves murder.
Doesn't she ever get tired of the creeps?
My advice to Browning: Get in a movie with Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
Hang with a guy in a sweater-vest for a while.
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