UNITED STATES - During this year's Oscars, host Seth MacFarlane sang a song called We Saw Your Boobs.
Kristen Stewart, Halle Berry, Kate Winslet, Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman and even Meryl Streep were all name-checked in this juvenile tribute to the bare mammaries of Hollywood's best-known leading ladies.
The one actress who was conspicuous by her absence was Jennifer Aniston.
MacFarlane hasn't seen her boobs, nor have you or I.
In fact, the only people who have are presumably her former husband Brad Pitt, her current fiancé Justin Theroux, and whoever else has had the extreme good fortune to get lucky with the former Friends star.
In her new film We're The Millers, Aniston plays a stripper, yet she somehow manages to keep pretty much all her clothes on for the duration.
She's a relatively shy stripper.
There's a scene in which she reveals her undergarments, but that's pretty much as far as she goes.
Amazingly enough, that's pretty much as far as Aniston has EVER gone over the course of her 20-year career.
She's done some racy photoshoots for magazines like GQ, and she's done some near-nudity in films such as Horrible Bosses, but she's never given it all away.
It's kinda cool.
In We're The Millers, which opens here Aug 29, her stripper character Rose teams up with a low-level drug dealer (Jason Sudeikis) and a couple of troubled kids to smuggle pot over the US-Mexico border.
They're pretending to be a normal family so as not to arouse the suspicion of customs agents.
The film has been a rather huge hit, bringing in more than US$70 million (S$89 million) in the US alone so far.
Amazing that at 44 years old - ancient for an actress - Aniston is still able to put all those bums in all those seats.
It would be silly to suggest that Aniston's continued appeal has something to do with the fact that she's kept her body relatively private, but I'm going to suggest it anyway.
Aniston's continued appeal has something to do with the fact that none of us have seen her boobs.
Meg Ryan is a similar type to Aniston, but her career was never quite the same after she went the full monty in Jane Campion's 2003 snooze-fest In The Cut.
It may sound horribly stupid and sexist, but there are simply some girls that we want to remain "pure", or at least relatively prim.
Many movie stars of old - Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn - never did anything close to nudity, and they seem to have a somewhat special place in the pantheon.
They possess an air of mystery that more sexually forthcoming performers lack.
Their bodies remain their secrets.
As a fan of Stewart, I would actually resist seeing On The Road (2012) specifically because of her nude scenes.
I appreciate her for her dark glamour, not her bosom.
I have nothing at all against those stars who bare all in pursuit of their art, but there's also something to be said for a girl who really knows how to say "no".
It certainly seems to be working for Aniston.
Get The New Paper for more stories.