I suppose you have heard the big Joanne Peh news by now.
I, too, was caught by surprise like everyone else although in retrospect, I should have seen it coming.
I am, of course, talking about the actress leaving the Channel 5 drama series Code Of Law. What a shocker.
I mean, there was no announcement that Peh was fleeing the local Law & Order rip-off, which she has been the star of since the show's 2012 debut.
Then last week, on the fourth episode of the third season, she wasn't there any more. I found out about it on Twitter.
Sure, Keagan Kang, the show's other star, is still on the show and is even prettier than Peh, but he is no Mrs Qi Yuwu.
He is more like Bobby Tonelli Light.
So what happened to Peh? Was she killed off? Is she coming back?
Did I miss something in the previous episode? Oh yah, I did because I do not watch Code Of Law.
Or Channel 5. Or TV.
But I do watch YouTube.
So Channel 5 has helpfully uploaded on YouTube the episode of Code Of Law which Peh last appeared in just so I can find out what happened to her.
No other full episode was uploaded on YouTube. Just that one.
Why? Because Channel 5 knows that there are many people like me who want to know what the heck happened to Peh and cannot be bothered to go to XinMSN where you can stream all the recent episodes for free.
The good thing about YouTube is that with a click of the mouse, you can easily forgo the 45 minutes of American-accented melodrama and skip to the American-accented melodrama at the end where Peh's character explains why she is abandoning ship.
The scene starts with Kang as lawyer Jacob Fernandez walking in on Peh packing her stuff and, speaking for all the viewers, he asks her: "So you're really leaving?"
And she replies: "No, Mr Fernandez, I just really like putting files in boxes."
LOL! Someone should cast Peh in the next Ghostbusters movie.
Then she says: "Actually, Sanjay would like to call it an indefinite leave of absence."
I think Sanjay is their boss at the law firm. Like I said, I do not watch the show.
So they did not kill her off. Peh's character is going on "an indefinite leave of absence".
Does that mean she may return?
For the answer to that, I turned to the source for all my Joanne Peh-related information, the Instagram of Jollity Club, "the one and only official Singapore-based fanclub for Joanne Peh".
The club posted on Jan 28: "Please note that Joanne will not be making an appearance in future episodes of Code of Law 3."
Oh. So she is really gone - at least for the season. I wonder what could have caused Peh's sudden departure.
Perhaps it is because of her role in the upcoming movie, 1965. Who knows?
Anyhoo, moving on.
Also last week, Laneway Festival became Lay Waste Festival after Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong highlighted the trash left behind by the...
WHY ARE YOU INTERRUPTING ME?
What do you mean Joanne Peh is pregnant?
She just married Qi Yuwu, right?
They announced her pregnancy last week? Whoa. That is big news. Am I the only person in the whole world who does not know? This is what happens when I do not check the Jollity Club Instagram for a couple of days.
Why didn't you tell me earlier instead of letting me go on and on like a fool about Code Of Law? Who cares about Code Of Law? Now I feel so stupid.
Does Bobby Tonelli know? Do reporters still go to him for quotes every time something happens to Peh?
Once Joanne Peh's boyfriend, always Joanne Peh's ex-boyfriend.
When she married Qi last September, it was as if to prove how wrong I was to suggest in an earlier column that their relationship was not real.
I admitted I was wrong in another column and pleaded for them to stop rubbing it in my face. And here they are, rubbing it in my face again.
I wish I could go on an indefinite leave of absence from them - and all celebrity pregnancies.
Did we not just go through one last year with Fann Wong?
Wong was 43 when she had her first child. Peh is only 31.
What is the rush, girl? Does she want the SG50 Baby Jubilee Gift so badly?
What about Code Of Law? Will she be back from her "indefinite leave of absence" after giving birth?
Or will she star in a new local Modern Family rip-off instead?
I hope Channel 5 will upload it on YouTube. Otherwise, I will never get to see it.
This article was first published on February 1, 2015.
Get The New Paper for more stories.