SINGAPORE - Eight in 10.
This is the number of persons who say they will not intervene if they know that a friend, relative or neighbour is being abused by a partner, according to a 2012 survey by the Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware).
The main reason for their inaction? They have no idea how to help. Other reasons include fear of the abuser's reaction and the feeling that it is none of their business, according to Aware.
"If the situation gets too violent, I will call the police. If I know the couple well, I will also ask what is happening. But as an outsider, there's a limit to what I can do.
"It's, after all, still a domestic issue. Who knows, the person being abused might not even want to listen to you." - Mr Alfred Tan, 52, sales and marketing officer
"If I see someone being abused in public, I will do something because it's disturbing the peace.
"But if the abuse happens behind closed doors, there's nothing I can do about it because I wouldn't know the full details. Some people might not like others interfering in their affairs." - Mr Muhammad Hafidz Basri, 30, technical officer
"Other than offering helpline numbers, I will not want to get involved because these are personal matters. It's none of my business." - Mr Deep Singh, 30s, aerospace technician
"Sometimes, people just need to mind their own business. I mean, as outsiders, who are we to decide if someone needs or wants to be 'saved'?" - Ambrose Chong, 23, undergraduate
Aware has brought the global 'We Can!' campaign (or We Can End All Violence Against Women) here. Singapore is the 16th country to join the movement against gender violence, according to Aware's website.
The target of the three-year campaign is to mobilise more than 1,000 individuals and community groups, who will make a commitment to work towards a violence-free society. Each of them will aim to get the We Can! message to another 10 people.
If you believe someone you know is facing abuse:
- Listen to her
- Help her make a safety plan
- Inform her of the various resources
- Encourage her to seek help and patiently wait for her to take the first step
- Don't downplay the danger, judge or criticise her decision, even if it means she isn't ready to do something about it
- Don't try to solve her problems and insist that she should do what you say If you know someone who is abusive:
- Tell him that nothing justifies his violent behaviour
- Tell him that his actions bother you
- Tell the couple that you care about them and urge them to seek help
- Don't agree with any excuses he makes for the violence
Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware): 1800 774-5935.
Promoting Alternatives to Violence (Pave): 6555-0390
How to get a personal protection order (PPO)
A PPO is granted only after a trial, unless the offender consents. Medical reports and police reports can help in obtaining a PPO. You can apply for a PPO at the Protection Order Services of the Family Court, or go to these places to make the complaint through a video-link facility:
Promoting Alternatives to Violence (Pave)
Block 211 Ang Mo Kio Avenue 3, #01-1446, Singapore 560211
Trans Safe Centre
Block 410 Bedok North Ave 2, #01-58, Singapore 460410
Care Corner FSC (Queenstown)
Block 88 Tanglin Halt Road, #05-01, Singapore 141088
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