Sexting is not safe

Sexting is not safe

She and her then-boyfriend had been dating for nearly three years before she agreed to share nude photos with him.

He created an private album on his Facebook account, accessible only to her.

The web content producer, who wants to be known only as Yul, recounts: "It was not something I was comfortable with.

"But he pleaded and pleaded and said that he wanted to capture the best shots of my body for his own private viewing.

"He even tried the emotional blackmail of 'If you love me, you would do this for me'."

She started out sending him photos of herself in semi-nude poses, which he told her was "good but not visually appealing enough".

Yul, 26, says he even attempted to take photos of her when they were together at either party's home.

"I refused. I didn't want to risk the photos landing in the wrong hands," she says.

By the time she wanted to break off with the man, who is a pub singer, she had shared some 100 totally nude photos with him over a year.

Yul says: "I regret it now because I feel so powerless - I don't know if he has downloaded the photos and kept them somewhere."

Then one day, she found some nude photos that another woman had sent him in a series of WhatsApp messages.

"That was it. I told him I needed time off to consider if I wanted to continue with our relationship, but he kept telling me that he had nothing to do with the woman.

"He insisted she was the one who wanted to send him the photos, but my point was, 'You did not delete them.'"

During their cooling-off period, she was shocked to learn that he had changed the settings of the album from private to public.

"A mutual friend, who had seen the photos, called to tell me about it. I was so embarrassed because the friend is a man and he was clearly telling me he had seen my nude photos," says Yul.

She confronted her ex-boyfriend, who claimed that he had no idea how the settings were changed. But he refused to do anything about it.

Yul says: "I had to plead with him. I begged him, I even wanted to kill myself, but he was unmoved.

"He kept telling me he would not do that to the woman he loves and that I should return to his side."

In the end, Yul had no choice but to confide in her parents and her elder brother.

"They were livid - at me for my stupidity, and at him for his despicable behaviour," she says.

Finally, her parents decided to approach the man's parents and threatened to go to the police.

"Thank God his parents stepped in and made him delete the album on the spot, in their presence."

But Yul says it has been more than a year since the incident but she still lives with the fear that "he may have downloaded the photos and stored them somewhere".

She says: "I don't know when this ugly past will return to haunt me later in my life.

"My advice to all women: Don't do this for anyone. Not even if the man is your husband."

maureenk@sph.com.sg 

Celebrity nude selfie scandals

Vanessa Hudgens, 25

The High School Musical star was only 19 when her naked photo was leaked online in 2007. She later apologised to her fans, saying she regretted taking those photos.

Rihanna, 26

The Barbadian pop star had her naked selfies leaked online in 2009. It was a big deal back then, but Rihanna now routinely posts equally raunchy pictures on her Instagram account.

Scarlett Johansson, 29

The Avengers star's phone was hacked in 2011, and her nude pictures on it leaked online. Christopher Chaney, the Florida man who hacked into Johansson's online accounts, was sentenced to 10 years in prison.


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