SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR
This trailer for the sequel to the first Sin City (2005) should be called A Game To Kill For, since the whole fun is to play "spot the stars".
The movie's infernal, chiaroscuro black-and-white tones make you feel like a mole squinting in a darkened bordello since you can't really see anyone clearly.
At the risk of permanent blindness, I spotted a tarted-up Jessica Alba holding a nasty bottle of booze and an even nastier gun, Joseph Gordon-Levitt with a black eye, Powers Boothe smirking like a mob boss, Josh Brolin, Ray Liotta and Mickey Rourke returning as Marv the Frankenstein monster-dude. And my favourite bad girl at the moment - Eva Green - is firing a gun after wielding puny swords in 300: Rise Of An Empire.
There's a lot of vamped-up attitude here because everybody wants to look their graphic-novel ugly-face best for co-directors Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller.
I don't know what the heck's going on, but I think the movie's about what happens when you gamble at casinos, owe money to gangsters, drink too much, hook up with a stripper, cry over a loaded weapon and then somebody turns off all the lights.
"Power is a fragile thing," the voice-over says here. So is electricity, dude.
THE WHITE HAIRED WITCH OF LUNAR KINGDOM
The last scene of this wuxia-fantasy clip is the most rewarding - the swirling flow of white hair which evokes Lin Ching-hsia in 1993's The Bride With White Hair. Man, that's about the only time I thought a granny's white locks could be sexy. In the upcoming film, the White Haired Witch - a female warrior-demoness-avenger from some mystical Chinese mountain who slays armies of enemies - is played by Fan Bingbing, who doesn't have Lin's classy, distant looks. But twirling in her red-chamber robes, Fan does remind me of the very ravishing beer lady at the kopitiam who charges me $10 more a bottle.
This trailer is a typical BBCAFC - Big-Budget Costumed Actioner From China. There are people swordfighting, flying, throwing little ninja stars, dodging weapons in stylish slow-mo and making leaps into the raging sea which makes the diving events at the Beijing Olympics look like a dip in a wading pool.
And, oh, they do it all with hair which seems dyed to a rich blackness probably called Imperial Noir in a fancy salon. I think that's to contrast with the killer white hair.
Get a copy of The Straits Times or go to straitstimes.com for more stories.