There are times when I dearly wish I did National Service.
Mostly, the feeling comes when someone shouts: "Eh, ang moh, you talk a lot about Singapore, but never do NS."
And that's just my wife.
She has petitioned the Ministry of Defence to grant me a special exemption before my 40th birthday just to get me out of the apartment for the best part of two years.
Then there are the free haircuts, free uniforms and personal trainers provided by Mindef. What's not to like? It's a free gym membership for two years.
At this point, I suspect my photo on this page is being used as a dartboard by young NS chaps.
I nearly got shot once in a Singaporean military zone so I'm not eager to tempt fate again.
It's a long story, but it basically involved me researching a book, getting lost in a reservoir, straying onto private land, hearing faint pops, seeing little green men running towards me and realising I'd either wandered into an SAF training exercise or the aliens had landed.
But this week, I dearly wished I had a Safra gym membership.