Treat marriage as a valuable investment

There has been much discussion recently on the issue of infidelity ("Dating site for cheating spouses 'not welcome'"; last Saturday).

This act of betrayal typically stems from existing issues within a marital relationship. These issues can be found in happy marriages as well as in troubled ones.

Ultimately, the reasons for infidelity are complex and unlikely to be pinned down to just one.

In this age of technology, it is increasingly common for people to have "emotional affairs", where there is no physical contact with the other person, but just an emotional attachment. This, too, damages marital and family relationships.

However, it is still most destructive when the extramarital affair involves both a physical and emotional element.

Research shows that men are more likely to be unfaithful to their spouses. However, studies also show that even if men experience stronger sexual urges, they are just as able as women to control them.

No one is immune to temptation. But just as you would invest in protecting valuable assets like your house or car from being stolen, your marriage vows also need to be protected.

In order to do so, you will need to invest in your marital relationship and, as with all investments, commitment and hard work are required. The first step is to regard your marriage as a valuable investment.

If your marriage is facing some emotional or physical roadblocks that you are unable to resolve on your own, seek professional marital counselling together with your spouse. It is worth the investment for the long haul.

Lee Sue-Ann (Ms)

Marriage Specialist

Focus on the Family Singapore

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