9 tell-tale signs your man is no good for you

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PHOTO: The Straits Times

While physical abuse is pretty straightforward to identify, many women don't know they're actually in an emotionally abusive relationship. Here are some signs that your man is bad news.

1. HE HUMILIATES YOU

Does he constantly put you down and make you feel small about everything you've achieved? If your man is always belittling you, whether in public or private, he's emotionally abusing you. There's a big difference between joking about something and humiliating you and saying that you're wrong about everything. And, when you tell him that you don't like such behaviour, he tells you that you're being too sensitive. Yup, that's emotional abuse.

2. YOU'RE ON AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER

Is your man loving one day then yelling at you the next? If he constantly takes you up and down emotionally, this is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. And if he's blaming or punishing you for not doing things his way, he's definitely abusing you. If you find that you're constantly arguing and then apologising, get off the roller coaster for your own good.

3. HE CONTROLS YOUR SPENDING

It's normal to have one person in the relationship who is more sensible at managing finances but if you need to ask him for permission before buying anything, this isn't right. Or if you have to give him the receipts so that he can trace where every single dollar goes, he is emotionally abusing you, through controlling your finances.

4. HE MAKES YOU NERVOUS

If you can't be yourself around him, you're not in a healthy relationship. It could be the threat of physical violence or the fact that you know he's going to put down or disagree with anything you say so you choose your words when you're with him. Fear of your partner isn't normal in any relationship so think of your options if this is the case.

5. HE ISOLATES YOU

If you find that you're no longer spending time with your friends and family because he doesn't want you to or because he doesn't like them, it's time to wake up and smell the roses. As romantic as it sounds, no couple should be together 24/7 and having relationships with others like your family and friends is a sign of a healthy relationship. So if he's telling you to spend your time with him and only him, he's actually emotionally abusing you.

6. HE IS CONSTANTLY CHECKING UP ON YOU

Is he texting or calling you incessantly the minute you aren't with him? Couples should be able to spend time apart without constantly checking up on each other so if he does this, it's a sign that he has trust issues. Your man shouldn't have to always keep tabs on you so if this is normal behaviour on his part, it's time to cut those ties.

7. HE'S MOODY … AND IT'S YOUR FAULT

Everyone has bad days but if he's moping around more often than not, he might have a problem. And, if he blames you for his bad mood, he's definitely emotionally abusing you. It's toxic behaviour and a sign that he refuses to take responsibility for his own issues. That is his problem, not yours, so don't let him push the blame to you.

8. HE'S JEALOUS

It's flattering when your man is jealous of your male friends and colleagues but if he's monitoring your social media accounts and asking you who every man is, that's just not on. A man who's emotionally abusing you isn't just jealous of the people in your life, they also take issue with your dreams and achievements. So, if he pouts when you get a promotion at work, he's not good news.

9. YOU DO EVERYTHING TO MAKE HIM HAPPY

Every woman wants to make her man happy but if it feels like you're stepping on eggshells every time you're with him and you're going out of your way to make sure he doesn't find any reason to get angry with you, it's time to stop being peacemaker and leave this unhealthy relationship.

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