Has he lost the 'mood'? Here are some reasons why your man doesn't want sex

PHOTO: The Straits Times


Testosterone is a hormone that, among other things, stimulates sperm production and influences a man's sex drive and performance.

The higher your guy's testosterone level, the higher his sex drive; the lower it is, the more sluggish his sex drive.

Decreasing testosterone can be due to a number of reasons - age, the use of certain medications, obesity, injury to the testicles, and genetic causes, to name a few.

Low testosterone can be treated depending on the cause - ask your man to speak to his doctor to determine the best way to address it.


If your man has trouble getting and staying hard, he may have EDD.

Possible causes of EDD include heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, and metabolic syndrome.

Depression, fatigue and stress can also affect his erection, since they interfere with sexual desire.

Does your guy drink too much?

Alcoholism is not only a depressant; it can also affect blood flow to the penis, preventing it from becoming or staying erect.


Some prescription drugs, like antidepressants, blood pressure medication, pain medication and anticonvulsants can affect a man's sex drive and/or make it difficult for him to get an erection.

If your guy doesn't have the option of dropping his medication, he may wish to speak to his doctor to work out how to manage the sex-related side effects.


If your partner is dealing with depression, anxiety, grief or worry, or is experiencing emotional problems that have to do with your relationship - such as guilt or resentment, it makes sense that he wouldn't feel like making love.

These issues can steal his mojo, overwhelming his senses to the point where he finds it impossible to be intimate with you.

Getting him to open up to you may relieve some of the emotional burden; otherwise, he should get professional help.


His fatigue may be due to low testosterone, depression, work, his age, certain medical conditions like diabetes or obesity, hormonal problems such as hypothyroidism, chronic illness, or certain medications.

Naturally, if he feels physically spent, he will not be in the mood to get it on.

He should speak to his doctor to get to the root of his exhaustion.

In the meantime, cuddling and kissing can help you maintain the intimacy.

If he is overweight, encourage him to start eating better and exercising.


Yes, men in relationships do masturbate.

It's not that you can't pleasure him, but sometimes, pleasuring himself feels better.

If he's masturbated too much, however, his desire for partnered sex may decrease.

If it's tricky getting your man to discuss the issue with you, ask him if he would like to make his solo sessions a part of your lovemaking, and who knows…

Things may get hot from there!


If you've been together long enough, you're probably used to a certain sexual routine.

The problem with routines is that they can get boring - and boredom has been known to affect male sexual desire.

If your sex life has been ho-hum of late, talk to your partner about shaking things up.

No need to get too crazy - try having sex in a different part of the house (or even in the shower), introduce sex toys or lingerie, take a romantic staycation, or, if you're used to doing it at night, wake up earlier for a quickie morning session.

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