Kim Kardashian, key to world peace

TV personality Kim Kardashian arrives at the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards in Los Angeles, California, August 30, 2015.
PHOTO: Reuters

If you haven't already heard, US rapper Kanye West announced at the MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs) this week that he would run for president.

After being booed by 60,000 people, he concluded: "As you probably could have guessed by this moment, I have decided, in 2020, to run for president."

While most believe he was joking, the hashtag #kanye2020 has become one of the trending topics on Twitter.

West's sister-in-law Kourtney Kardashian has posted a superimposed picture of herself and sisters - West's wife Kim and Khloe - at the White House for a mock future season of their reality TV show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, on social media.

Barbadian pop star Rihanna has also declared her support for West's presidential bid.

"We'll see," she said when asked if she plans to vote for him. "2020? I hope he really does!"

The Democratic Party has even welcomed West into its fold, tweeting on Monday: "Last night @kanyewest declared his candidacy for president in 2020. Welcome to the race, Mr West. Glad to have you."

While we shudder to think of the egomaniacal 38-year-old residing at the White House, his superstar wife may not make such a bad First Lady of the US (Flotus) after all.

Sure, the office will have to overhaul her wardrobe and give her a deportment class or two. But she already has the world eating out of her hand at the age of 34.

Here are three reasons Kim Kardashian is the Flotus America needs.

HER INFLUENCE

With the most Instagram followers in the world at almost 45 million, Kardashian has more influence than First Lady Michelle Obama, who has a paltry 2.2 million followers.

Even Democrat presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has posed with Kardashian for a wefie, a move critics say Mrs Clinton used to capitalise on Kardashian's fame.

According to Forbes, Kardashian earned US$52.2 million (S$78.2 million) last year.

The Kardashian business empire spans clothing lines, skincare and make-up products, endorsements and even a mobile video game. So if she uses her powers for good, Kardashian could turn America around.

Broadcasting her workout videos on national TV could motivate unfit Americans to squat their way to fitness.

She could also end domestic poverty by appealing to her many Instagram followers to donate food and money.

Even 2016 Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, 69, and his wife, former Slovenian model Melania, 45, are no match for the combined powers of celeb couple Kimye.

If Trump gets elected president next year, he'd never win in a campaign against West in 2020.

When it comes to crazy talk, West would crush the Trump in any verbal sparring match - and probably write a Billboard No. 1 song belittling his rival. As for Kardashian, she can easily turn her mighty fanbase against Melania, who has less than 50,000 Twitter followers.

HER BODY

Kardashian's most famous assets are undoubtedly her larger-than-life derrière and ample bosom, which she gladly flashes on Instagram in regular near-nude picture postings.

They're weapons of mass destruction, as seen from Kardashian's famous naked Break The Internet photo exposing her bare bum in Paper magazine.

With one fell swoop, she assaulted the Internet and made millions of people abandon their normal lives to talk about her body. Of course, Kardashian's arsenal can also have the opposite effect.

In times of impending war, all she'd have to do as Flotus is to attend a peace talk and casually bend over to pick up a "misplaced" lipstick.

America's enemies would be so distracted, they'd completely forget to launch their nukes or whatever they were going to do.

And with that, the US military budget can be reduced to make way for more important expenditures, like healthcare, education and more tight-fitting dresses for Kardashian.

HER DEVOTION

The ultimate duty of the Flotus is to stand by her man and be his pillar of support.

And boy, does Kardashian, who's six months pregnant with their second child, stand by West. At the VMAs this week, she was by his side the entire time, smiling for pictures, being led around by West as he rested his hand lovingly on her generous rump.

Kardashian doesn't bat an eyelid at West's ludicrous antics. She even remained a picture of calm as he ranted on stage at the VMAs. With two-year-old daughter North and a boy on the way, Kardashian has found true love with West.

They may have been married for only a little more than a year but they're clearly crazy about each other (check out the number of #kimye selfies Kardashian posts).

So whatever madcap plans West has for America, you can bet she'll be behind him all the way. With her behind.


This article was first published on September 3, 2015.
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