School of frock

What's the Grammys without some what-the-hell red carpet moments? Thank you, pop stars, for making me laugh. Here are this year's so-bad-it's-good offenders, says JEANMARIE TAN.

RIHANNA

Gown: Giambattista Valli

Now this is the way to make a big entrance - as a poufy-bubblegum-pink-cotton-candy-meets-cupcake confection. Well, if she ever gets hungry, she can always munch on those tiers.

CHARLI XCX

Pantsuit: Moschino

She hates boring fashion, and I hate boring fashion, but what we have in common ends there. This is one quirky white tux, but I don't know whether to take her to the prom or order a main course from her.

KIM KARDASHIAN

Gown: Jean Paul Gaultier

Didn't realise she was a closet WWE fan. Why else would she be paying tribute to wrestling legend Ric Flair, complete with sparkly belted robe and gleaming spray-tanned chest?

MADONNA

Outfit: Givenchy

Dressed as a skanky matador, Madonna is still forcing the world to look at her hoisted 56-year-old boobs. Spare us, please!

IGGY AZALEA

Gown: Giorgio Armani

How can anyone pay attention to what's happening below the neck when she's balancing uncooked instant noodles on top of her head?!

JOY VILLA

Outfit: Andre Soriano

With the usual suspects (read: RiRi, Miley, Gaga) wearing actual clothes, somebody's gotta do the nearly-naked thing right? Enter eco- warrior Joy Villa. Here's a lesson in recycling, kids - wrap yourself in construction site plastic fencing material (and nothing else) and you're good to go.


This article was first published on Feb 10, 2015.
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