School of frock

What's the Grammys without some what-the-hell red carpet moments? Thank you, pop stars, for making me laugh. Here are this year's so-bad-it's-good offenders, says JEANMARIE TAN.

RIHANNA

Gown: Giambattista Valli

Now this is the way to make a big entrance - as a poufy-bubblegum-pink-cotton-candy-meets-cupcake confection. Well, if she ever gets hungry, she can always munch on those tiers.

CHARLI XCX

Pantsuit: Moschino

She hates boring fashion, and I hate boring fashion, but what we have in common ends there. This is one quirky white tux, but I don't know whether to take her to the prom or order a main course from her.

KIM KARDASHIAN

Gown: Jean Paul Gaultier

Didn't realise she was a closet WWE fan. Why else would she be paying tribute to wrestling legend Ric Flair, complete with sparkly belted robe and gleaming spray-tanned chest?

MADONNA

Outfit: Givenchy

Dressed as a skanky matador, Madonna is still forcing the world to look at her hoisted 56-year-old boobs. Spare us, please!

IGGY AZALEA

Gown: Giorgio Armani

How can anyone pay attention to what's happening below the neck when she's balancing uncooked instant noodles on top of her head?!

JOY VILLA

Outfit: Andre Soriano

With the usual suspects (read: RiRi, Miley, Gaga) wearing actual clothes, somebody's gotta do the nearly-naked thing right? Enter eco- warrior Joy Villa. Here's a lesson in recycling, kids - wrap yourself in construction site plastic fencing material (and nothing else) and you're good to go.

This article was first published on Feb 10, 2015.
Get The New Paper for more stories.