Should you schedule sex?

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TAIPEI - Sex and sexuality are part of every relationship as much as intimacy and pleasure. If you're married, have kids, or just lead a busy life, however, spontaneous sex is more than likely not available to you.

Is scheduling sex a good way to build your relationship though? Would your sex schedule kill romance? According to The Guardian, more and more people are "marking it on their calendars, and trying to stick to the commitment."

The British daily asked various couples how they keep intimacy alive in a long-term relationship. Their answers were always the same: they diarize their love lives. "Having regular sex is a key to not having issues in the marriage," Ar'nie Rozah Krogh told The Guardian.

To overcome periods of stress, low libido or fatigue, Krogh and her husband schedule sex at a mutually convenient time to keep the "spark alive" and restore intimacy. "Sex scheduling is a sign of maturity in our communication," she said.

But are you ready to schedule your sex life? Can you overcome the myth that spontaneous sex is best? According to Emily Nagoski, a noted sex educator, scientist and author, most people's calendar are packed with very important things so why not scheduling some private time with your partner.

You schedule sex to tackle the fading of interest in long-term relationships, reach a compromise on your mismatched libidos, or just increase the quality of your sexual life, the interviewees told The Guardian. But where do you start?

To begin with, you should have a conversation with your partner about the type of schedule that usually works for other activities in your life. Whether you like consistency or prefer a meeting here and there, you can agree on a weekly day and time for doing it or plan your sex dates one at a time.

Next, you need to discuss with your partner the "bare minimum" of a specific meeting. After all, you might not be in the mood when your sex date comes around. If you feel like doing more, that's great! If not, you'll still have an opportunity to connect.

Last but not least, according to, you should remember that sex wasn't always spontaneous in those exciting early stages of your relationship. When you're dating someone new, you're still planning sex, just in a different way.

That's the main reason why you shouldn't equate scheduled sex with boring sex. It certainly doesn't need to be! Maintaining an active sex life takes a lot of work! It's important for you and your partner to acknowledge and thank each other for that work. So, what's next? Should you start scheduling your sex life?