WHEN the TV news anchor picked up the first feed on the sex scandal of Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek two weeks ago, she thought: 'Oh no, not another victim.'

It was a case of deja vu for former Taiwanese politician Chu Mei-feng, who is now the face of Macau Asian Satellite TV.

Ms Chu had shot to infamy when a 40-minute VCD of her sex romp with a married man was given away free by a magazine in 2001.

In an open letter to Dr Chua (as told to The New Paper on Sunday in a telephone interview), she shares her feelings and offers some advice.

Dear Dr Chua,

We may not have met but somehow I feel a certain sense of affinity with you.

Perhaps it is because we have both fallen prey to set-ups, all in the ugly tussle for political power.

Both our videos were distributed before critical elections.

But the similarities end there.

You are a man - older as well - so, somehow, the pressures you face may be less impactful.

No matter how we view it, Asians remain conservative. A woman caught in such a scandal is likely to be more ostracised.

Poring over news feeds - from the scandal's outbreak and the events leading to your eventual resignation - made me realise one thing: I was not the first, and you are not likely to be the last.

To be realistic, as politicians, whatever we do is closely watched by the people - both by supporters, and more so by detractors.

You'll agree, I'm certain, that there have been many unpleasant, startling situations that one has to deal with in the aftermath of such a scandal.

Had the one who was caught with his pants down (literally) been a common man in the street, no one would have batted an eyelid, except maybe his loved ones.

The reactions would have been insignificant. Indeed, such a video may not even have seen the light of day.

But you and I are different.

Given our status, people are watchful. Very watchful, in fact.

There are those who jump at the hint of a chance to bring you down. In the most brutal manner possible.

And the higher you are up there, the harder and more painful your fall from grace will be.

That is the cold, hard reality we have to deal with.

But you have handled the situation well - by coming out to confess openly.

It takes courage - a lot of it - to face the people. Especially those whom we have disappointed with our misdeeds.

Personally, it took me a long time to tread down the road to recovery. Even then, there were little things I'd done which now, looking back, I realise maybe I should have avoided.

Among those things: Performing at shows overseas, going on talk shows, writing a book.

Doing all that cost me some of the sympathy votes.

You see, people misunderstood that I had deliberately sought to capitalise on my incident.

Chu Mei-feng deserved it, the less forgiving ones said.

It became easy for them to forget who the real victim was.

People discussed and dissed me without remembering that it was I who had to suffer a gross violation of privacy.

So I say, absolute sincerity is required to right your wrong.

And as a politician - even a former one - if you apologise sincerely, I am confident that in time, you can stage a comeback.

Nothing is ever too late.

Not when you are worth your salt.

I guess, how one moves on from this point depends on one's strength.

But, however grave the mistake, we should not forget our loved ones.

I cannot comment on how your marriage will turn out, or how the relationships between you and your wife, you and your children, will be.

That is totally the private aspect of your life.

But for me, I was so busy before the incident - everything I did, it was for others. For the supporters. For the party.

I had no time for my family members. I neglected my loved ones.

Just as I did, in rebuilding my life, you may wish to set aside time for your loved ones.

For they now come first.

And remember, stay positive.

First published by The New Paper on Jan 13, 2008.

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