Beware of man eater

Faithfulness versus adultery.

It's really easy to tip the balance in a marriage, insist some of the heartlanders that this columnist has met over the past two weeks.

Some of the uncles and aunties feel that it's even easier for those in power and authority to "lose sight and lose control".

Lurking in the minds are recent salacious news stories. Mr Danny Ang, 50, who sells dried goods, says: "Everyone is talking about the scandals.

"First, it's the CPIB probe of two top civil servants. Then it's a politician. And the root of their troubles appears to be woman-related."

Madam Zhong Wenjuan, 60, a housewife, notes: "The Chinese have a saying, 'Ying xiong nan guo mei ren guan' (loosely translated as a hero can be seduced by a beautiful woman)... So it won't really be a surprise if the allegations are true."

Or as shopkeeper Mohd Adriffin, 55, says: "Kuching tengok ikan mesti nak makan (a cat will never resist the fish)."

Which perhaps explains why most of the people whom I approached feel that the women - both the wife and mistress - are also to blame when a married man strays.

And it's not just the heartlanders who think so. In our weekly poll, 31 out of 50 agree as well. (See poll results on next page.)

Mrs Fion Ee, 47, reckons it's the wife's duty to ensure that she keeps her husband "so happy, there's no need to stray".

The boisterous seamstress says: "Some wives give their men so much headache that when another woman acts all coy and gentle, the husband starts acting the hero."

Mrs Ee adds: "That's why you won't catch me talking as loudly as I do now at home."

Madam Guo Ke-Ai, 39, is fully aware of that implication. The study mama confesses that she was able to ensnare a married Singaporean because she knew "how irritated he was with his uncouth wife".

Says Madam Guo: "Men want their women to be, well, like women."

My former classmate, who has been following the news, thinks that men are "generally stupid".

But Mrs Bernadette, 43, feels that women who can't keep their men or those who seduce other women's men should "just be shot".

Mrs Bernadette, who runs her own boutique, says she has seen her share of "nubile young things" who trade flesh for cash. Or a contract. Or even a promotion.

The cases hit home for my friend whose first marriage was ruined after her husband cheated on her four years ago.

She was incoherent when she called me at 3am one night.

All I could hear was "he's straddling my best salesgirl" and "it's all my fault".