Body image: Teach your child to be kind to themselves

Did you ever have a "fat talk" with your parents when you were a kid? If you and I belong to the same generation, I'm guessing it's a no.

However, at some point, maybe you were made to feel that there was something wrong with your body. You're not alone.

Body image is something that was not part of the parenting manual (if there ever was one) during our time.

Body image or illusion?

I was having lunch at a friend's place. They have an 11-year-old boy. The food was fabulous, so, I was not paying much attention to the conversations around me. However, I could see his son from the corner of my eye, pecking at a piece of chicken.

He had just returned from his football practice and I am sure he was famished. The chicken was also alright. So I was wondering why was he not eating properly.

I went near him and started a conversation. A minute into it, he told me that he was hungry, but was worried that his BMI might increase. It felt like a slap by an ice-cold sock when I was not expecting it!

Why would an 11-year-old athlete worry about something like BMI? He was active, eating right, and yet, he was worried about eating good, nutritious food.

There are countless young children like him, worrying about looking right. I don't know why. Maybe things were simpler when I was younger. I would eat to my heart's content and then play outside the whole evening. I was not worried about getting fat or looking fat, or even looking out of shape. Why then, are these children, not even teenagers, concerned with the way they look?

Is it because they are more aware? Is it because they see the parents trying out different diets to get back in shape? Or is it because of the early sexualisation of the youth in movies today? Maybe it is a combination of all three.

Don't get me wrong. There is no glory in putting on extra pounds, nor is there anything wrong in being fit. The problem arises when growing children ignore a balanced diet and start exercising the way adults should. The incessant obsession with selfies and Instagram does not help either.

Body image used to be a cause of concern for parents of 18-year-olds. Now it hounds the parents whose children have not even reached puberty.

How to help your child have a positive body image

Involve an expert

Young adults are more likely to listen to an expert, like a doctor, or even an elder cousin who is a dietician, than you. So use this to your advantage. You have to be careful not to be too pushy, though. In this age group, you have to handle situations like you would handle a raw egg or unexploded dynamite - with tender care.

A good point to bring to the discussion would be the impact of BMI on fitness. Let them understand that BMI is not a measure of fitness. It is important for a growing body to concentrate instead on having a balanced diet and a healthy amount of exercise.

Discourage any kind of diet regimes for weight loss

Shun the GMs, the Paleos, and any other kind of diet regimes yourself. You are setting an example through your actions that would have a long-lasting impact. So be wise about the path you choose to get fit yourself.

I cannot stress enough about a balanced diet. Your body needs carbohydrates, so don't omit them from your diet. Pack some healthy lunch for your child and teach him to spot the nutrients instead of encouraging him to count calories.

That said, there are some foods that are not meant to be consumed daily. Soft drinks and fried food are best reserved for a blue moon day. Do not withhold anything, but teach your child to have a balanced diet.

Monitor their sources of information

The Internet has a lot of information that may be totally untrue. Most of the sites are not monitored by the government and thus celebrities get away with their support of wild theories and fascinations.

Teach your child this simple mantra — "Take advice from a person about his profession, not beyond it". So take notes from an actor in the theatre, but when he starts teaching about food or weight loss, teach your child to ignore it.

Watch your language

Be mindful of how you talk about your own body and other people's bodies in front of your child, as this can have a significant impact on their body image.

Focus on health, not weight

Encourage your child to adopt healthy habits, such as regular exercise and a balanced diet, rather than focusing on their weight or appearance.

Celebrate diversity

Help your child appreciate and celebrate diversity in all its forms, including body size, shape, and colour.

Avoid negative comments and encourage positive self-talk

Avoid making negative comments about your child's body or appearance, as this can be damaging to their self-esteem and body image. Instead, encourage your child to use positive self-talk and focus on their strengths and abilities, rather than their appearance.

Promote body acceptance

Teach your child to accept their body as it is and avoid comparing themselves to others.

Emphasise inner qualities

Encourage your child to value inner qualities, such as kindness, empathy, and intelligence, over external appearance.

Be a positive role model

Model positive body image behaviours by taking care of your own body in healthy ways and emphasising your own inner qualities and strengths.

In conclusion, body image is a complex issue that affects many people, and it is important to address it early on in childhood. While children may not initially be concerned about their body image, they are likely to encounter messages and images that can be harmful to their self-esteem and body image.

As parents, it is our responsibility to teach our children about the importance of valuing their physical and mental health over their appearance and to promote a positive body image. By doing so, we can help our children develop a healthy relationship with their bodies and avoid the consequences of a negative body image later in life.

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This article was first published in theAsianparent.