A second, secret life: How virtual avatars are helping these live streamers fulfil dreams

By day, they're just like any other Singaporean, holding a job and earning a living to survive.

Come nighttime, however, the question is no longer who they are — but what they are instead.

"It's kind of like Hannah Montana — if you know that reference — like how some singers might just go anonymous for the longest time," said Jonaru, a VTuber who livestreams on Twitch. 

During the day, Jonaru, who declined to give his age, works in the finance industry.

VTubing, a portmanteau of "virtual" and "YouTubing", refers to live  streamers who utilise a virtual, often anime-like avatar to stream, not just on YouTube, but also on other platforms such as Twitch.

These avatars take many different forms — among the seven Singaporean VTubers that spoke with AsiaOne, there was an elf, a demon and a bunny princess.

VTubing has grown significantly in recent times, from 427.98 million hours watched globally across online platforms in the third quarter of 2024 to 522.90 million in the first quarter of 2025 for just the top 6,000 VTubers, according to StreamCharts.

For Jonaru, he chose an adult male elf for his avatar, with sharp features and pointy ears — although he has since alternated between an elf avatar with a more boyish charm.

Another VTuber, Kapoooof, streams as a cat girl with angel-like wings, wearing a white dress.

"I'm able to dream as a VTuber," she told AsiaOne. "I can be anything I want."

To Kapoooof, VTubing can function as a "very strong tool" used to amplify a persona you wish you could have or a character you wish you could be.

"It's really something that helps you express your imagination," she said.

For PNGTuber — a type of VTuber whose avatar is not animated — GoingGeek, his avatar is also a regalia of sorts.

The design of his avatar, a demon, includes streetwear and clothing he personally enjoys, and his left eye features a crosshair as a nod to the shooter games he plays.

His jacket is embroidered with the Mandarin word for "tired", an emotion he is all too familiar with in real life.

VTuber Himetokki, a bunny princess, added: "You can put yourself in many different settings — you can have a whole world that you create through VTubing, where your lore takes you to different planets or different realms that are outside of the human world.

"And I think that's one of the amazing parts about VTubing, that you get to write your story however you want and be anywhere you want."

Chasing dreams online

But how did they begin on the path of VTubing?

For Kapoooof, whose day job is in marketing and design, her online persona holds characteristics that she wished she could have in reality — a bubbly and lively personality filled with laughter.

"My online persona is something that I would wish I could portray to other people in real life, but it's still a very genuine part of me," she explained. 

Through her friends, she learned of the popular VTuber Gawr Gura, formerly of Hololive Production, who achieved her fame despite never showing her face at all.

Kapoooof shared that she was concerned about privacy and was not confident with her appearance, so VTubing appeared to be the best way to pursue her ideal vision of herself.

Similarly, VTuber Rua Amamiya, whose avatar is a succubus — a female demon that, according to folklore, seduces men with her appearance — also found inspiration from other popular VTubers with Hololive Production. 

"When I was watching them stream games and sing and just talk with their chat, I was thinking, wait, this is perfect. This is exactly what I want," the media industry professional in her 20s said.

When loneliness takes hold

While some may have had simpler reasons behind their foray into VTubing, most others did not — of the seven that AsiaOne spoke with, four expressed that they began VTubing to combat loneliness and meet likeminded people online.

While some that spoke with AsiaOne had explored the VTubing industry as an avenue of income, none have been able to survive on the income from VTubing alone.

Himetokki shared with AsiaOne that she had started out as a webcam streamer during the Covid-19 pandemic.

"We couldn't go out, and I felt very lonely at home," she said. "I enjoyed the company of my family, but [neither they nor] my university friends game, and they don't really engage in the same activities that I do where I hang out online."

She picked up live streaming to "nurse that loneliness", but didn't want to have her face out there, especially since she works as an educator in real life.

Much like Himetokki, Rua also ventured into the VTubing scene to fill a gap found in their social lives.

Rua shared that she found it hard to relate with her friends and hoped to talk to people with similar interests.

"I just thought that VTubing would be a good platform for me to meet more like-minded people," she commented.

The media industry professional also felt that meeting with people and talking with them through an avatar would help her build self-confidence, because she was shy in reality.

PNGTuber Sleepysheeppx also explained that she had a similar perspective: "I wanted to meet more people and get to know them better, and to have more friends."

'I couldn't be around people'

For VTuber Divinity, live streaming has also been a panacea for the mental health problems he faces.

The devil VTuber shared with AsiaOne that he has been battling depression for the past nine years.

"It was just a lot of trauma and negative experiences with people that just [caused] my depression and made it so bad to a point where talking to people was really hard," he recalled, adding that he wasn't even able to go to school back then.

"It was way too difficult. I couldn't be around people."

It was about five years ago that he started VTubing, and his mental state became more manageable, he said.

Streaming as a VTuber required him to speak with an audience, but it was far easier behind the relative anonymity.

"Streaming has really helped me re-learn how to make friends again, because I used to be an extrovert when I was younger," Divinity explained.

"After depression took over, I just became a complete opposite — an introvert — and it was just hard talking to people.

"And I'd have these slight little panic attacks if I'm around too many people."

Meeting people online helped him step out of his comfort zone, breaking the mental restraints that had held him back for four years, he said.

"Streaming has definitely helped me better my mental health and battle my social anxiety, especially considering how bad it was back then," commented Divinity.

"It helped me step out of my comfort zone. I think that's what helped me overcome my problems."

Virtual acquaintances, real bonds

Divinity also revealed that he had first came across VTubing during the pandemic while he was dealing with depression.

At the time, a Japanese VTuber going by username Negi_133 live streamed on Twitch, drawing his intrigue.

"This VTuber gave me something to look forward to every day, instead of just being depressed and stuck at home," he said, adding that he eventually became part of her community.

Not knowing when the Covid-19 lockdown would end, he decided to try his hand at VTubing, to much encouragement from Negi_133.

"People would come in and say, 'Oh, my god, you made my day'," he said of his experience VTubing.

"It was just such a wholesome, heartwarming thing… I didn't care about the money or the fame, like I just got so much happiness out of giving happiness to other people."

While Negi_133 has since moved on with life and lost contact with Divinity, her community still remains in his stream, he said.

"But whenever she does decide to stream again, I'll definitely be there to say hi," Divinity commented wistfully.

VTubing: More than just a tool

When asked about his community, Jonaru told AsiaOne that VTubing doesn't mean quite as much to him in comparison.

"The community and the viewers that have been supporting me all this while, that means the world to me — nothing can replace that," he said.

VTubing has brought him to meet with people he would have never met before, and has helped create a common ground for both him and his community to bond with.

"I could throw away [my VTubing] characters, but I think it's the community that really matters to me the most."

Divinity, however, places far more importance on VTubing and the benefits it has given him.

"For so long in my life I've not had something that I love to do, I've just been floating around in uncertainty," he admitted.

Learning of VTubing has aided his mental health and given him new experiences, allowing him to live out his dream of being a live streamer — something he's always had a penchant for since his youth.

Briefly pausing, he exhaled, adding: "For the past five years, I think VTubing has definitely changed my life. And if I could go back in time and start from scratch, I'd do it all over again, just for the experience."

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khooyihang@asiaone.com