'I forgot how to be the child': Cheryl Chou too busy worrying how to parent her own parents

It's a tough and confusing transition when you go from being your parents' child to becoming their caregiver and taking care of them like a parent would when they get on in years.

In an interview with the cast of local Mandarin comedy-drama film A Good Child on Sept 24, actress Cheryl Chou revealed that she's in the thick of it, having been "too busy worrying how to be a parent to my own parents".

Cheryl is an only child and the caregiver of her mother, 64, and father, 68.

The 29-year-old also told AsiaOne her parents used to live overseas and moved back to Singapore due to Covid-19.

When asked what it means to be a good child, she said: "In a lot of ways, I feel like I have become the parent, so much so that I forgot how to become the child."

In recent years, particularly when discussing their home renovations, Cheryl realised her parents began to take a backseat and rely on her more.

During a two-and-a-half-hour meeting with their interior designer, she became their translator and interpreter, helping to verbalise and communicate their thoughts.

Remembering her mother as the "independent, strong businesswoman" who "could settle a lot of things" for her, Cheryl said: "From 20-something-years on this earth being someone's child to transition into becoming a parent almost overnight was a very difficult thing for me to accept.

"I think I am still trying to accept that fact because it can get really tiring to be a parent."

As she often leaves home while her parents are barely awake and returns after they're fast asleep, there aren't many opportunities for them to chat either.

"I think what my mom wants more, because there's only me and no one else, is a lot of companionship but I don't necessarily have the time to give, because we're always at work," she added.

'I don't care what I'm planning — I have to go'

However, when it comes to family, she has one non-negotiable.

She makes it a point to visit her grandfather, who is turning 98 and lives in Australia, every year without fail.

Cheryl shared: "We go every year, and it is a hard thing I put down.

"I told my manager and said, 'This is one thing that I have to do for my family every year, and I don't care what I'm doing, I don't care what I'm planning — I have to go. You can take me out of anything, I have to show up to this.'"

On whether she felt that she was a good child, Cheryl was quick to say no.

She said: "I don't think I have been working very hard on finding out and learning how to be a good child."

Instead, she revealed that she finds herself repeating the same nagging her mother used to tell her when she was younger.

"It could be as simple and small as like, my mom's standing there putting her shoes on, and then I'll say something like, 'You better sit down and wear your shoes properly, otherwise you'll fall.'

"And then one day she looked at me, she's like, 'Do you know I used to say the same thing to you when you were a kid? How come you're saying it to me now?'"

"I don't think the nagging is what they need but I subconsciously do it," she added. "So, I don't think I am a very good child in that sense."

In the upcoming movie A Good Child, Richie Koh plays Jia Hao, a drag queen who returns home to care for his mother Ju Hua (Hong Huifang) when she is diagnosed with dementia. As her memories begin to fade, Jia Hao alters her perception to believe she has a long-lost daughter instead of a son and, along the way, is forced to confront his past and childhood traumas.

Cheryl plays Grace, the fiancee of Jia Hao's brother Jia Qing (Charlie Goh). Written and directed by local filmmaker Ong Kuo Sin — who directed the 2020 comedy Number 1 and its 2025 sequel Number 2 — A Good Child is based on the real-life story of full-time drag queen Sammi Zhen, whose real name is Christopher Lim.

The film, rated M18, opens in Singapore cinemas on Oct 9.

[embed]https://www.instagram.com/p/DO8NvzIkcWL/?hl=en[/embed]

[[nid:723212]]

esther.lam@asiaone.com

No part of this article can be reproduced without permission from AsiaOne.