Dreams over practicality: To All The Boys star Lana Condor's gamble paid off when she chose X-Men over going to college

For many of us, American actress Lana Condor is known as the fresh-faced, doe-eyed high school protagonist of the young adult romantic film series To All The Boys.

However, had she made a different decision years ago, she wouldn't have had the chance to play Lara Jean Covey, the role that catapulted her to global fame.

In a Zoom interview with local media today (Jan 29) for the upcoming film To All The Boys: Always and Forever, the 23-year-old revealed that she was once at a crossroads in life where she had to decide between taking up her first acting job on X-Men: Apocalypse or going to college (the American equivalent of university).

When she got the role on X-Men, it was the year that she had been preparing for college and sending out her applications.

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Lana said: "I always thought my future was [going to] college. That's how my family was as well. We're very much like, school. And so I think, once I got my first job, I obviously was very excited and like, 'Holy crap, this is a whole new world that I don't know anything about.'

"And then realising that in this industry, nothing is guaranteed. Like, jobs are not guaranteed. And it's quite difficult to work consistently as an actor. So I remember sitting there with my parents and being like, 'Is this going to be a one-hit-wonder? Am I only ever going to do X-Men and I'll never work again?'"

For Lana, she was concerned that she was giving up a stable future by pursuing her dream, which involves working in an industry where opportunities don't come regularly. However, her parents decided that Lana could defer college for a year to pursue acting but only if she is willing to "work really, really hard to get hired again" and to put herself out there.

"And so I had to make that choice of, 'Do I believe in myself enough, and am I brave enough to take this unconventional route and work really hard and hope that I'll work again?'... Luckily, I'm so happy that I did because I never would have gotten into To All The Boys [otherwise]," she exclaimed.

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Making choices that are good for yourself

The Vietnam-born American actress was right to celebrate as it was a really risky gamble. Prior to her breakout role as Lara Jean, she only had two roles — one on the 2016 film Patriots Day and another on the 2017 television film High School Lover.

But the bet she placed on herself paid off.

Now, three years and two successful films later, Lana has to say goodbye to the role that made it all happen in her final To All The Boys film.

In the last film of the trilogy, Lara Jean prepares for the end of high school and the start of adulthood, and she makes a life-changing decision to attend New York University. This means that she would be across the country from her boyfriend Peter Kavinsky (Noah Centineo).

This message of empowerment — by prioritising one's best interests — was something that Lana pushed for, as she had talks with the director and producers to make sure that this film "shows Lara Jean choosing herself and how much she has grown throughout the years".

"All of her [previous] choices revolve around relationships so it is important in the third movie for her choice to revolve around her future and where she feels she will be happiest and grow the most. It was really exciting for me to do that because it felt more grounded," Lana explained, adding that being torn about what to do for the rest of your life was a universal feeling.

She added: "I feel the same way [as Lara Jean]. I'm growing up, I'm trying to figure out what I want to do for my future and I try to make choices that are good for myself... It was a fun parallel and learning journey for me as well."

Deciding between love and yourself

Spoiler alert!

Lana's onscreen alter ego will have a hard time deciding between love and her future, but don't worry, viewers will get their happily-ever-after.

However, real life is a little more complicated and not everything can be tied up in a neat little bow like in a script. Oftentimes, there are situations where love and empowerment are mutually exclusive. So how did she try to balance these two potentially conflicting messages in the film?

In response to AsiaOne, Lana replied: "I think that to love unconditionally is quite empowering, and to also know how to receive love is quite empowering. I've met people who love, love, love, love, love, but the moment any love comes back to them, they have a really hard time receiving it.

"So I actually think that the fundamental aspect of love is empowering and I think that when it comes to romantic comedies, especially young adult [films], there is a responsibility to — at least with To All The Boys — show love and show young relationships in a healthy way."

She added that communication is important in a relationship, citing the film's handling of how Lara Jean loses her virginity as a good example.

"They talk about how Lara Jean doesn't feel ready in prior films, and Peter listens to her and respects her feelings about it. When we finally tackle the lost virginity, we do it in a way that it's like a partnership and it's been talked about. We wanted to show sex to young people that is soft and kind, and passionate and love-driven," Lana said.

Personally, though, Lana admitted that she has been fortunate enough to be in a position where she never has to choose between love and herself.

And a lot of credit has to be given to her "incredibly supportive" boyfriend, American actor-musician Anthony De La Torre, whom Lana raved about. She shared that he "wants my dreams to come true" and he knows that there will be times when the couple has to be apart because Lana is working across the world.

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She laughed: "He's really been a trooper for the past three years. It's not easy, you guys. It's really not easy. Like, I'm sure for him watching me making out with all these different guys — that's a nightmare for many, many people. But he's such a trooper.

"It's because he knows that acting is my dream and I love to do it. So he's never put me in a position where I've had to choose between him or my career and vice-versa."

To All The Boys: Always and Forever will be available on Netflix from Feb 12.

bryanlim@asiaone.com