How this widowed mum of 3 raised her kids alone and restarted her life

At the age of 37, when Nancy tragically lost her husband, her life fell apart. The man who loved her dearly was no longer with her and the burden of raising their three kids, who were then three, six and nine years respectively, fell entirely on her shoulders.

Resentment turned her into a difficult parent, who would often take her grief out on her little ones.

Today – 10 years after she became a widowed single mom – Nancy is sharing her challenging journey and opening up about her equation with her three kids. 

Widowed single mom opens up about life after husband’s demise

In an Instagram video from Our Grandfather Story that has now been viewed over 46,000 times, Nancy recalls that after her husband died from colon cancer, the first five years were the hardest.

From worrying about the finances, to taking care of her kids, she struggled with everything.

In fact, she says that she took a very strict approach while dealing with her kids. So much so that they found her extremely rude and proud. 

In one particular incident, she had an altercation with her second child, Natania, and she asked her to leave the house.

Next thing she knew, her daughter got up and left at 11pm with the house keys. When Nancy asked her daughter to return the keys, she simply threw them in the drain.

Nancy says she was shocked by her daughter’s behaviour, but the incident made her realise that she was so caught up in raising her kids in a certain way and being so hard on them, that she actually didn’t look at the way they were grieving.

She admits that she then apologised to them and decided to change her parenting approach. 

Nancy’s kids understood the challenges and pitched in

In the video Nancy’s elder daughter Natalie says that she realised right from the start that she will have to be the second parent to her siblings.

She understood that being a widowed single mom was not easy on her mother and others are always ready to pounce and point their fingers at her. 

Nancy shares that as a widowed single mom, the biggest challenge is finances. “But thankfully my husband didn’t leave any debt,” she notes. 

While Nancy says she could relate to the problems her daughters were experiencing, she felt clueless when it came to her son, Noah, now 14.

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For instance, the mother-son duo watched a two-hour long YouTube video to learn how to tie a tie.

And when her son’s voice was breaking, she kept asking him “how come you keep having a sore throat?” until she realised what was happening.

She shares, “I still struggle as a solo parent because now they are very independent. I find myself always guilt-tripping them like saying, 'Hey, I am alone, spend time with me.'

"But, then I realise that in this process, I can also end up pushing them away. They might say, 'Why are you so needy?'"

Noah signs off by assuring his mum that they will always be there for her.

You can watch Nancy’s life story on Instagram.

This article was first published in theAsianparent.