Coping with the loss of a beloved pet can be tough. What makes it worse is when us paw-rents are unavailable in the animal's dying moments to provide it comfort and care.
I'd read somewhere that owners often feel guilt and responsibility for their pet's death, largely due to how reliant these animals are on us for their survival.
My pet rabbit died two years ago when he was six. Based on online resources I looked up, a house rabbit that's well taken care of can live for up to 12 years. That, of course, did nothing to make me feel better.
But what bothered more about his passing was that he'd died when none of the people he was close to was around. My husband and I, along with my parents and extended family, had gone on a week-long trip to Japan at the time.
We had left him in the care of our new helper of a few weeks. We provided her with clear instructions on feeding schedules, thinking that all would be fine.
Mid-way into our trip, however, we got a text bearing bad news that Pepper, my Netherland Dwarf rabbit, didn't appear to be eating.
When rabbits stop eating, it's often a cause for alarm, due to their sensitive digestive systems. Death can come pretty quickly. I tried to downplay the seriousness and prayed that his discomfort was just temporary. There was a sense of helplessness as I couldn't think of anyone whom I could trouble to bring him to the vet.
His condition persisted for one more day and when morning came, Pepper was gone. We were due to return home the next day.
We weren't quite sure why he suddenly stopped eating. I suspected that a fatal condition known as gut stasis then set in because of the lack of food, leading to his death.
Fast forward two years — while researching for a story, I chanced upon animal communication as a business through several pet owners I follow online.
Among several profiles I came across, Arden Sim's on Instagram piqued my interest. The 28-year-old's long list of accreditations looked impressive.
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On top of her animal communication and pet psychology certifications, Arden is also a Reiki master and claims to be a psychic medium. Which means yes, she 'sees dead people'. But her services are strictly for animals and their owners, for now.
I decided to engage her "Afterlife Mediumship" service, which costs $90. The fee allows me to ask five questions, after which I would receive a report, and be able to have an hour-long chat with her via text to clear up any queries. Arden also offers end-of-life transition, and animal communication for lost pets.
Sceptical, my first instinct was to test if she knew what animal I had. But for her to do her work, I was required to submit photos of my pet and details such as its name, age and sex.
Besides wanting to know the cause of Pepper's death, another big question I had was if he had visited us somehow the night that he passed. According to my husband, he was woken up by a distinct rustling noise in our hotel room that night. It reminded him of the sounds Pepper would make when he used to nosy about in our bedroom.
After two days of waiting, I received my "Afterlife Mediumship" PDF report from Arden at the stipulated time. It was four pages long, and included bits of his personality and, to my surprise, mine as well (through his eyes).
For example, Pepper was an anxious bun (true), and I have a clear sense of what's right and wrong (somewhat agree).
"He knows you always wonder and worry about the 'what ifs'," Arden added.
"He says just let it flow and let it be. What will happen, happens." That could well be true, but it was interesting to hear nonetheless.
One section where I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows though was when I read that my bunny "has a pretty nice voice, soothing and masculine". "Gruff" and "abrasive" would have been my choice for his tone of voice.
To my question as to why he looked so fearful all the time, the answer I essentially got was that he was "born stressed". Arden reassured me that he had nothing but love for me and enjoyed my company. "He doesn't know how to express himself well, but can be possessive."
That may explain how when he was alive, Pepper used to rain pee on me whenever I got close. What I had thought was an instinctive startle reflex, Arden interpreted to be a display of dominance — he was "claiming" me as his, she exclaimed.
"He does like to nudge your hand. And hang around your feet," she went on. It is true on both counts, but I silently wondered, 'Isn't that also typical bunny behaviour?'
Another line in the report which resonated was: "He said he was taken home from a high-stress environment." When I got him, I was told that he was purchased from a noisy pet shop which sold puppies as well. I would be on edge too if I were him.
To my two main questions, however, I felt that the accuracy was a bit of a hit-and-miss.
Of his passing, the report read: "There was a feeling of not getting enough air and a burning sensation. His stomach feels empty and stagnant. Somehow it was not a nice experience leaving his body but he felt immense relief afterward.
"Did he suffer from something in his abdomen? He did have gut stasis."
That kind of confirmed what I had suspected. But to be honest, I'd also read that gut stasis is a common cause of death for bunnies.
And while the cause of the fatal condition wasn't elaborated in the report, Arden cleared it up when I asked her in our chat later on.
She indicated he was experiencing some stress in the lead-up to his death. "The people he trusted weren't around," said Arden. Suddenly, I felt a twinge of guilt.
"He did not trust your helper yet. Somehow her energy triggered him as she was not familiar."
And as for whether it was his spirit that visited my husband in our hotel room, the answer I got seemed off. "No I did not. I was at home, so no need to visit. I was there all along," the report read.
Later, when I explained that we were actually on holiday at the time, Arden stated again, "He says that's not him. He only saw your husband after you guys came home."
Arden also shared another of Pepper's quirks that I did not recognise. "He would thump his feet to get your attention," and twitch his nose to "act cute".
Amusingly, Arden shared that Pepper gave me the side-eye at my non-recollection. "No wonder he doesn't always get what he wants," she quipped, giving me a smiley emoji.
Then something else came up: "He says you laugh a nice laugh when you are relaxed, but once you get to work your face becomes stern."
People have told me about my RBF when I'm focused on a task, so I would say this is accurate.
"Was there an energy shift in the house or the general neighbourhood? I also hear drilling and renovation. Dust in the air," was another peculiar point made in the report. In my hazy memory, this did not seem to coincide with the time period of Pepper's death. But what's curious is that I'd recently shifted into my new HDB estate. Dust and noise from renovation works are, of course, a given.
"He's been checking on you," said Arden cheekily when I dug deeper.
On knowing that I felt sad that he was in pain before he passed, Arden's words to me were that I needn't feel bad.
"He wants you to know he felt very well taken care of during his time with you. So stop wondering and being sad over his passing. He lived well. He is well," she shared.
While the experience has offered some closure to the events that happened, it also left me puzzling over some points that were raised.
Right off the bat via chat, Arden asked if I had a silky terrier or "small brown dog" in my life, which showed up rather prominently in her channelling. My answer was negative. The closest memory I have of a small brown dog was my neighbour's pet daschund that I witnessed getting run over by a taxi. That wasn't it.
Another line was the one that read: "[Pepper] showed me someone and said, 'Take care of each other'. Short hair that stands, nice gentle eyes with laughter lines, I see some white hair, and a blue polo shirt."
For the life of me, I can't think of anyone who fits the bill.
To my further befuddlement, Arden added that "AC (animal communication) information can in the past, present or future as well. Keep it in mind." I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
What it's like to be an animal communicator and psychic medium
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I was curious about Arden's job as an animal communicator, which she has been doing for the past three years. But this is not her full-time job, yet. By day, the Temasek Polytechnic graduate is also a veterinary technician, which means she's surrounded by animals in the flesh (or not) almost 24/7.
Of her abilities, Arden shared that they come to her in the form of voices, but also sensations and emotions as well. Horrifyingly, she once tasted excrement and smelly socks, which "was a fave of one of my client's darling pups". Needless to say, those experiences weren't pleasant.
"I do enjoy tasting their favourite foods though, like peaches, treats etc. Their owners give them such a spread!"
It is not surprising that people usually come to her to reconnect with animals that have passed due to feelings of regret, guilt, longing, and wanting to know how they are doing. She added that "animal and human souls go to the same realm, the spirit realm".
Being a vet tech with such abilities has its advantages as well. The university dropout shared that she had been pursuing a business degree when she felt a calling to pursue a different career path.
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When it comes to her work with sick animals, oftentimes Arden is able to pick up on ailments before owners are even aware of their existence.
"I can sense discomfort, and suggest areas in terms of health for owners to take note [and] prevent further progression," said Arden.
She shared: "In quite a few cases, I had pointed out renal disease even when the owner informed me that the pet had just gone to the vet and their tests were fine. A few weeks later, the owner updated me that their pet got hospitalised with renal failure, she was so shocked that I was right.
"I also had a case where the pet that crossed over kept trying to alert the owner of his presence!
"The owner got so scared as he did it all the time — at home, at the workplace, at the toilet with the flickering lights and things slamming.
"I had to tell the cutie to tone it down as it can be scary. He simply wanted to let her know he misses her and he is okay."
On another occasion, a pet told Arden that he was terrorised by human spirits. "True enough, I saw them lurking around. The poor little guy had become super aggressive, which was the reason for our session, and could not rest with the constant disturbance.
"The owner confirmed what I said as there had been a temple master that came to the house prior to the session with me."
It is no surprise that Arden felt some resistance from her family when she first discovered her abilities. She shared that her family used to brush her off as "a small kid talking nonsense" when she used to speak of seeing ghosts and communicating with spirits and animals.
"But as I grew older, they realised that it is real, especially since the evidence I give is solid.
"It's easy, for me at least, to make a connection with animals whether they have crossed over or are alive. It comes really naturally to me almost like how we breathe," she added.
But despite what appears to be her extra-sensory abilities, Arden shared that she doesn't feel any different from us regular folk.
"I am still human, just like everyone."
candicecai@asiaone.com