Award Banner
Award Banner

Real stories: 'I kept my abortion secret'

Real stories: 'I kept my abortion secret'
Two hands holding a photo of an ultrasound.
PHOTO: Unsplash

Some women may choose to keep their abortion secret. We all know the seriousness of the process of abortion because it involves ending a pregnancy. It is a primary healthcare need for millions of women worldwide.

The need for abortion is common. However, not every woman across the globe is given access to the procedure. In some countries, it is not legal. Countries like El Salvador choose to criminalise abortion-related surgeries.

Abortion can also affect women's mentally and emotionally. Regardless of the reason, deciding to abort your baby will never be an easy decision.

A married woman on Reddit shares how and why she chose to keep her abortion secret. Many factors contributed to why she came up with the decision to abort her baby with her husband.

A married woman had a secret abortion 

The person who had an abortion is a married woman. She also added that she was financially stable during her pregnancy.

However, she had always been on the fence about whether or not she wanted to have kids.

'My husband cheated on me'

The woman's husband had a history of cheating. She later learned that her husband was cheating on her a few months before discovering her pregnancy.

"My husband had cheated on me a few months before I fell pregnant," she said. "And we were still very much recovering."

After the infidelity, the woman started to be uncertain about her marriage. The whole ordeal caused a big impact on her mentally. Her mental health went down the drain. Sadly, she also used alcohol to escape the situation.

Her pregnancy made her feel devastated

Most women take their pregnancy as their biggest blessing or the best gift from the above. The thought of bearing and giving birth to a child makes them feel so much love, happiness and joy.

However, not every mum-to-be feels the same way. Some women may believe that keeping the child would make their life miserable.

"When I found out I was pregnant, I was immediately devastated," the woman said.

Upon confirming her pregnancy, she felt like she lost all hope. If she kept the baby, she claimed it would make her feel more trapped in her suffocating marriage. She also said the whole incident made her feel so small.

After discovering her husband's affair, the woman said that her spouse attempted to reconcile. Unfortunately, those efforts were not enough to fix their broken relationship.

"The pain was so deep," she said. "I didn't know if I wanted to live with that forever."

"Being pregnant with his baby meant I would for sure be tied to this feeling forever," she added.

READ ALSO: Asia's 'progressive' abortion laws safe, but accessibility still an issue in Singapore, Malaysia, South Korea

Her husband wanted to keep the baby

The woman's husband felt ecstatic to find out that they are about to have a baby. Unfortunately, the wife did not share the same sentiment.

Eventually, she decided to tell her husband about what she was feeling and discussed abortion.

"He really wanted this baby," she said. "He told me if I did it, he wouldn't ever want to try to have children again in the future."

The woman decided to do an ultrasound scan, hoping that seeing the baby would change her mind. Her husband remained ecstatic about the pregnancy. Meanwhile, she felt nothing even after seeing the ultrasound.

The woman pretended to have a miscarriage

Despite her husband's desire to have the baby, she still pursued her plan of aborting the baby and went through with the abortion. She said she felt nervous but genuinely relieved to put an end to her ordeal.

She had a quick pelvic exam, and the doctor gave her two pills. Aside from that, the doctor prescribed medicine for pain and nausea expected after the abortion.

The process was quick and only lasted for about 30 minutes. The woman said that she felt numb while driving on her way home.

"I knew this was the most terrible thing I could do, but it was best for me," the woman said.

Her reasons for keeping her abortion secret

Several reasons pushed the woman to make such a difficult decision. Her life was out of control after the cheating incident happened.

"I didn't want to bring a baby into my situation," said the woman.

She is still uncertain if she still wants to stay in their marriage. She no longer trusts her husband, especially for supporting her through her pregnancy.

Furthermore, she wants to avoid becoming a terrible mother to her child. She does not want her mental health to negatively affect another person's life.

She lied to her husband

When the bleeding started after her abortion, it was just like a heavy and painful period, according to the woman. 

The woman decided to make her husband believe that it was not an abortion, but a miscarriage. She admitted that she felt guilty, but regretted nothing.

"My pregnancy made me suicidal and my abortion gave me hope and a reason to keep going."

This article was first published in theAsianparent.

This website is best viewed using the latest versions of web browsers.