These relationship tips can help you to win over people at work


Have you heard about the five Love Languages?

Originating from American author Gary Chapman's book The Five Love Languages, a Love Language refers to the way someone expresses and experiences love.

Chapman suggests that as long as you are able to identify a person's Love Language, you will be able to communicate your love to the other party in the way that they wish to receive love.

With thousands of readers testifying to the book's ability to help them improve their relationships, there may well be some legitimacy to those claims.

However, besides bae, you can also use these tips to work on your relationship with the people whom you see and work with almost every day - your boss and colleagues.

To do that, first you will need to find out what language each person responds best to by testing them and observing what kind of behaviour they respond the most favourably to.

If they begin to reciprocate a certain behaviour or become more amicable towards you, you most likely have identified their Love Language.

Now, you can tailor your approach and work towards building stronger and healthier work relationships that will lead to a happier work life.

Words of Affirmation

Everyone appreciates a genuine compliment, but words of appreciation go even further with those that use this as their primary Love Language.

If someone seems to be feeling under-appreciated, casually bring up a project they recently completed, and mention a specific part you think they did particularly well.

Watch out for the frequency in which you do this with your boss, or you risk being labelled a suck-up.

Acts of Service


This language is expressed by taking on something that will make another's life easier and more convenient.

Phrases such as, "Can I help you with that?" are ways to communicate this offer.

Busy day at work? If you notice that your boss has back-to-back meetings all day, offer to pick up lunch for them when you head out.

Not all heroes wear capes, and you could be saving your boss from getting "hangry".

If your workload is lighter than usual, offer to help out on projects - this also shows initiative, something your boss (and the colleagues you help out) will likely remember.

Conversely, this also means that your boss loathes laziness, and will definitely notice those who procrastinate because this just makes their lives harder.

Quality Time

For some, nothing is more precious than time spent together.

Being present in the moment and actively listening are key elements to this Love Language.

If this is your colleague's Language, this means they want your undivided attention when the two of you are communicating - be it during a one-on-one conversation, or in a group meeting.

Actively participate in group events and work retreats - your efforts won't go unnoticed.

Spending time with the people you manage is important as well as it fosters trust and teamwork. 

Physical Touch

Some people are touchy-feely and feel the most loved through physical signs of affection.

However, we admit this might be a difficult one to work on in the office.


To avoid crossing any boundaries, we're going to suggest this is more about body language than actual touch.

The way you hold yourself can say a lot about how you're feeling without you even knowing it.

Crossed arms demonstrate defensiveness, while crossed legs suggest vulnerability, so relax a little and adopt an open posture when you're around your colleagues.

Another good trick is to subtly mirror the body position of the person you're talking to, as this creates synergy and connection, and puts the other person at ease.

Being a good reader of body language will also help.

Try to understand, from their posture and how they hold themselves, what mood your colleague or boss is in, then act accordingly.

Receiving Gifts


Some like love to be more tangible, which is where gift-giving comes in.

Again, this could be difficult in the office - no one wants to be accused of bribing the boss!

We aren't suggesting bribery to get that promotion you've been working towards, but some bosses really do respond best to gifts.

While this may sound materialistic, it's all about the effort and thought put in.

Writing a heartfelt e-mail can be just as meaningful and less awkward. And, of course, buying snacks for the office is a time-honoured tradition that's always welcome.

This article was first published in CLEO Singapore.