Mummy, do you always find yourself to be the last to finish a meal? Are you always the last one to get ready when going out? Does your family often ask you: “Why are you so slow, Mummy? Hurry up!”
Well then, you are not alone.
Mothers across the globe are often taunted for their ‘slowness.’ Either for being the last one to get ready, or finishing a meal, or leaving the house. But nobody asks ‘why?’ Why is it that a mother is the last one to finish all the chores, while everybody is almost already out the door?
The fact is that nobody bothers to notice that it is she who gets everybody ready. And once that is done, only then does she focus — albeit a bit — on herself!
And everybody was reminded of the sacrifices mums make in a recent by Singapore-based mum, Christine Koh. Through a heartwarming and rather emotional write-up, Koh, a mum-of-two, elaborated on the unfair treatment often meted out to mums and wives.
“He couldn’t understand why his wife was always so slow in eating”
In her Facebook post — that has now garnered almost 6.4k shares — Koh began by sharing an incident that caught her attention. While at a food court, she saw a man angrily questioning his wife about how slowly she ate.
On Saturday (March 6), Koh saw a “hubby” telling his wife off for eating slowly and how he just couldn’t understand why.
She explained that the man had his hands full – handling “both a baby in a carrier and a wailing toddler” and continued to show his frustration.
When his wife didn’t answer, the husband eventually stormed off with their kids. He left his wife to eat alone. Koh wrote, “Though the wife did not reply her hubby, you can tell that there was sadness through her eyes.”
Koh asked herself: “Why am I always the slowest?”
The mum-of-two added that this incident saddened her and led her to think about the many times she herself left the house late.
“I felt so bad that I asked my 2 little apples if they ever wondered why a mother will always be the last one to leave the house and the last one to finish eating when both the hubby and kids are already done with it,” Koh wrote.
She added, “Usually, when we are going out, without fail, everyone will be waiting outside the house while I will be seen frantically trying to pack the 101 things before I dash out of the house.”
“Why am I always the slowest?” Koh asked herself in the post. “I usually neither dress up nor make up. I actually spend about an average of 10 mins on getting myself ready…” she added.
For her and perhaps for most mums, it boiled down to a singular explanation: mums do everything for others first, and then think about themselves!
As she pointedly explained in her post.
1. Aside from getting ready herself, Koh says she has to make sure the rest of her family have everything they need as well before going out.
While her family waits outside, Koh would frantically pack many things before leaving. As she explains, “I usually neither dress up nor make up. I actually spend about an average of 10 mins on getting myself ready. But an hour to get both my kids ready, including packing for them and my hubby.”
2. A mother ensures her family is eating well before herself.
In response to why a mother would eat so slow, Koh wrote, “a mother is also usually the one who will subconsciously take the initiative to take on the role of feeding the kids so as to make sure all her love ones are fed first before herself.”
3. Mothers will also put their family first.
“The reason why mothers are always the slowest is because we love our family so much that we will never put ourselves before our family,” she wrote.
She concluded her emotional post with an answer. It was not only to the man at the food court but to all husbands and other mothers who probably wonder: “why do I eat so slow?”
She wrote, “you probably cannot change the fact that your wife is always the slowest but you can change your perception to be more understanding of this love that a mother/wife have for our family which we can never compromise.”
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Mums agreed to this conundrum in unison
Her emotional post touched many hearts, especially mothers, who agreed to this conundrum in unison.
One mum, Karen Lim said, “I totally can relate to every point you stated.”
While another Zhaoyuan Pchn, wrote, “I think it’s sad that a lot of men today still behave as if their kids are not their responsibility. As I always say to other women, you can tell how good/bad a husband is by observing the wife’s transformation after having kids.”
The fact that this post was so widely shared speaks volume of the daily struggles of a mother. It also speaks to the support that she needs on a daily basis.
So if you are a family member who notices a mum struggle, offer to help. If you are an employee who notices a mum struggle, offer to help. And if you are a husband, share the work load equally.
Let’s all come together to help mums. After all, they run the world!
This article was first published in theAsianparent.