PUBLISHED ONOctober 17, 2025 4:44 AMBYYeo Shu HuiOn the last three days of his mum's life last July, local actor Chen Hanwei slept on the floor beside her in the Malaysia hospital she was admitted to.
Speaking to AsiaOne recently, the 56-year-old gave a heartfelt recount of the months leading up to his mother's death at the age of 90 last year.
He shared: "To be honest, I am also not sure what happened to her. She was still okay when she visited my home during Chinese New Year. After that, she kept saying she was feeling tired and slept frequently.
"It got increasingly more frequent, and she didn't wake up for her daily routine such as bathing. She also started speaking strangely, saying things like, 'What time is my performance?' When I asked her what she was going to perform, she said she got it wrong."
One day, she went to the bathroom to take a shower, but when she didn't come out for half an hour and there was only silence, Hanwei became concerned and went to check on her.
He recounted: "When I opened the bathroom door, I saw her standing inside. I asked her what she was doing, and she told me she didn't know what she was doing.
"I said she was supposed to take a bath, but she responded she was feeling tired and fell on me suddenly, dozing off. I grabbed her immediately and was afraid she had died suddenly. From that day onwards, she became a completely different person."
He added that the elderly woman started to have hallucinations and grabbed at the air. She also lost her ability to speak and control her bladder and bowel, and only recognised Hanwei at times.
She was admitted to the hospital about three months before her death.
"In the beginning, I prayed every day for her to get well soon, but later, I prayed she could leave peacefully, because she was not herself anymore and I was heartbroken," he revealed to us.
The day before she died, Hanwei had expected the worse when he took her blood pressure and it was low.
He said: "When I woke up the next morning, she had already turned yellow, and I couldn't wake her up. The doctor came and pronounced her dead. I didn't cry at that moment because I told myself that when my mum left, I cannot cry."
Hanwei told us candidly that he broke down in tears only when he saw his mother's body after the embalmer had prepared her for the funeral.
"I also didn't cry when she was pushed into the cremation chamber. Because I told myself I must let my mum know I would be strong and continue to live well. I was also surprised that I was strong enough that day; my friends were all standing right beside me because they were afraid I would faint. But I told myself to be brave and as her coffin was being pushed in, I kept telling her not to be worried or scared and it would be okay," he shared.
Hanwei added the doctor concluded his mother died of organ failure due to old age and he was relieved she left the world peacefully: "I am just glad she didn't have to suffer for a long time".
Hanwei was speaking to us during a media conference for his upcoming local drama The Gift of Time.
The series centres around wealthy entrepreneur Lim Huoyan (Xie Shaoguang) and family man Lam Shuimiao (Hanwei), who are diagnosed with advanced stage cancers and undergoing treatment at the same clinic. While they bear a grudge against each other over an incident several years ago, they eventually set aside their differences and become friends.
Having come to terms with their limited time, both work together and use their abilities — Huoyan's wealth and Shuimiao's understanding of human nature — to help other terminally ill patients.
At the same time, they also aim to die without regrets. Huoyan seeks to reconcile with his estranged daughter Wong Xiatong (Chantalle Ng), while Shuimiao attempts to fulfil his wife Koh Qiaomei's (Xiang Yun) dream of dancing the waltz.
Hanwei, who plays a cancer patient for the first time, said what attracted him to this character was how realistically he was written. "Shuimiao felt like he could be a neighbour. He isn't anybody significant, but a common man."
He added that while portraying characters in the past two to three years, he would go with the flow of the character and situation at the point of filming, rather than deliberately "acting" out the role, so that he would be able to influence other actors with him to portray the scene naturally.
He also made a few suggestions to the production team on how to portray Shuimiao's ailing condition and how it affected his family realistically.
He recalled: "I had a friend who had cancer that later spread to his liver and he gained a lot of weight, which is similar to Shuimiao's condition. So I tried to gain weight in a short time, from 69kg to 76kg.
"I also suggested I should shave my head bald. I believe not many actors would be willing to do that because it would affect their next role, but I felt it was worth it for this character."
A scene was added where Xiang Yun shaved his head and Hanwei said he was "nervous and excited" for it.
"I was excited because I had never done something like this before and wondered how I could portray a cancer patient after shaving bald. However, I was also nervous because I was concerned that my hair wouldn't grow out anymore," he explained.
He added that for the two-and-a-half months of filming, he had to shave his head about two or three times a day.
Hanwei and Xiang Yun also practised dancing the waltz for more than a month, with Hanwei sitting in a wheelchair for a touching three-minute scene.
"When we were filming the scene, both Xiang Yun and I were in tears. Even our dance instructor cried," he said.
In the drama, Shuimiao and Huoyan race against time to fulfil their own wishes and help other terminally ill patients fulfil theirs.
We asked Hanwei what he's doing to not have any regrets and he shared his only regret towards his mum was not expressing his love enough in words.
"Although I loved my mum very much and took care of her, I regretted I didn't tell her 'I love you' every day [when she was alive]... I only told her when she was in the hospital, but she couldn't hear it anymore," he said.
It has been his habit since he was in his teens to call home every day and now, he continues to do so through video calls, asking his domestic helper to let him speak to his mum's spirit tablet placed at his family home in Johor Bahru, where his father lives.
Previously, Hanwei had expressed his love through actions by taking care of his mum including her daily needs, such as washing and blowing her hair dry, changing her clothes and tucking her into bed.
Since experiencing his mother's death and playing Shuimiao, he has reflected about his mortality: "I came to a realisation that besides life and death, nothing else matters.
"So I tell myself that I shouldn't give myself too much stress and become overly fixated on certain things, because we can't bring anything with us when we leave this world. I feel I am more at ease now, although I will still have expectations for myself sometimes. But I try my best."
When asked whether he fears death, he said: "I used to be terrified of it, but that's not to say I am not afraid now.
"When my mum was still alive, we bought our columbarium niches together. I told her then that when I leave this world, I will inter my ashes beside hers... I believe one day we will be together again, so I am not too afraid of death, because I will be beside her."
In the meantime, Hanwei believes in maintaining a youthful mindset and living positively, including going out for walks, exercising, hanging out with friends and travelling to see the world.
He added: "The best form of release is to forgive ourselves. Don't give ourselves so much stress and try to relax. While thinking about helping others to ease their minds, why not think about helping ourselves? The best way to do that is to forgive ourselves.
"I also believe in always maintaining a positive attitude because our attitude now is the best form of feng shui for ourselves in the future."
The Gift of Time will be available on demand for free on Mewatch from Oct 20 and premieres on Oct 23, airing on Channel 8 on weekdays at 9pm.
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