Got a relationship problem? Jason Godfrey, our resident guy expert, is here to help.
This month, Jason discusses how to discuss the issue when you and your partner aren't aligned on having children and the age-old question on whether men and women should split their bills equally.
Q: I want kids some day, but my partner dislikes the idea of being a parent. I love everything else about him and I don't want to break up with him over just one thing, but it is one rather significant thing. What should I do?
To have a child or not is a rather significant thing, and you're right that you should both be on the same page. The key thing I read here, however, is that you said you want kids some day.
"Some day" makes me think you're not looking to have kids in the next couple of years, which is good because it gives him time to perhaps change his mind.
The decision to have kids, especially for men, can sometimes be related to where they are financially or in their career. We ask ourselves, can I take care of a kid or am I ready for one right now?
Maybe your partner isn't ready for a little one just yet, but who knows how he'll feel in a few years. If you have time, wait and find out.
Q: I'm all for equality of the sexes, but my partner does earn three times what I make. Should we be splitting the bills 50-50 or three-to-one?
You should be splitting bills 100-0 in favour of the person making three times what you make!
I'm only partially kidding. I agree about equality of the sexes too, but to me, if someone can afford to more easily pay the bills in a relationship, then they probably should.
Maybe this is an issue of how long you two have been together, because on the one hand, maybe he wants to pay the bills, but also maybe he wants to make sure that the person he's with isn't just staying with him for his bill-paying ability.
I'd keep splitting things however you're splitting them for now, but as your relationship progresses, I do think you have a pretty decent case for asking him to pick up the majority of the tabs.