'We don't have to look great all the time': DJ Lim Peifen opens up about motherhood and mental health

Thanks to social media, many celebrities have had the opportunity to openly share their parenthood journey with the public. One such famous name is that of YES 933 DJ Lim Pei Fen.

If you've been following her Instagram account in addition to hearing her on the radio, you would know that the celeb mum actively shares her experience as a mother.

From pregnancy, to breastfeeding, to parenting her two kids, Pei Fen has always been honest and she makes sure to let other parents know that they're not alone in this journey.

So to know more about her secret to balancing work and family so effortlessly, theAsianparent spoke to Pei Fen. She opened up to us about how she does it, especially now that she is a mum of two little tots.

DJ Pei Fen on being a mummy of two 

The Mediacorp radio DJ has previously opened up about her pregnancy.

With a strong social media presence and over 60k Instagram followers, Pei Fen has always made it a point to let other mums know that they are not alone in their struggles.

During her second pregnancy, she even stepped up to assure expecting mummies that it's okay not to be "social-media-pretty".

Now a mum of two boys, Luke and Jude, she spoke to theAsianparent about the challenges during her pregnancies and how she manages motherhood.

"Both pregnancies were generally smooth, with the usual discomforts like heartburn, body aches and some mood swings, but nothing serious," she tells us.

After she had Luke, Pei Fen thought that she would get to be more "chill" and less worried the second time around.

Although, after having been through a miscarriage and getting pregnant during "the initial height of Covid-19," the celeb mum found she herself with new set of worries that she did not expect.

"Breastfeeding was a challenge with both Luke and Jude. But I think my body (breasts and nipples) had toughened up from the first try, so with Jude we eventually got things sorted, and I'm happy to be still breastfeeding him now," shares Pei Fen.

In addition to parenting concerns, Pei Fen also opened up to us about her biggest challenge of the moment - disciplining her eldest son Luke.

"He is a confident, passionate, energetic and playful six-year-old with a mind of his own, and I constantly have to come up with ways to educate him without being overbearing," says Pei Fen.

"It's not easy to balance being encouraging and allowing freedom to express with teaching him self-control and proper behaviour," she added.

What type of parent is Pei Fen?

As every mum and dad have their own parenting style, Pei Fen also has her own style. She says she is more of a "fun disciplinarian" to her kids.

"I am always ready to be silly and have fun with the kids, but I am not their friend, I am their mother," shares Lim. "There are rules and limits and I will be firm when they do not behave," she adds.

With her husband and her being both popular voices at YES 933, Pei Fen also shares that she would be supportive of her sons if they decided to become DJs themselves.

"I'd tell them to be prepared to work hard and work alone a lot of the time," says Pei Fen.

She makes sure to add, "being a radio DJ is a lot about being themselves, so I'll also encourage them to be as good a version of themselves before becoming a DJ!"

Life as a working mum 

Pei Fen admits that balancing work and family has not been easy. In fact, she tells us that she is still learning the ropes.

"I'm grateful to have my husband working from home and be around to help out much more, and we are both grateful for all the help that we have received on our parenthood journey," confesses the celeb mum.

"I try to remind myself to be fully committed to whatever I am doing. If I'm working, I do not let parenthood affect my work; if I am off work, I try to focus my time and attention fully on my family," she adds.

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When asked if it was easier returning to work the second time around, Pei Fen bluntly responds, "Of course… NOT!"

"I find it even harder to return the second time around," she says.

"Now, I not only have to manage the schedule, menu, well-being, and outfits of one boss, but two bosses! And one of them can be really relentless!" She adds.

For other working mums like the YES 933 DJ, Pei Fen advises to not be too hard on themselves.

She tells fellow busy mums like herself, "we don't have to look great all the time, we can make mistakes. And when things pile up and life gets crazy and it all becomes a blur… Always remember that we are first ourselves, then mums, and then everything else."

Highlighting the importance of children's mental health 

As a mother Pei Fen, worries about both the physical and mental health of her two boys.

When we asked her about her thoughts on the mental health of children in Singapore, the celeb mum shared that she understands that the challenges young kids face today are different than those faced by their parents.

Despite this, she says, they also have many new ways to deal with these challenges.

"First of all, society as a whole is increasingly able to address the issue of mental health with less negativity than before, so that is a good start," says Pei Fen.

The celeb mum adds, "There is also more professional knowledge on the topic, and more resources for parents and children to seek help from when there is a need, even in the early stages."

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As a parent herself, Lim feels that her role is not to "bubble-wrap" her children, but to help them deal with negative feelings in a healthy way. She explains, "Escaping is not a solution, it often worsens the problem."

"I try to encourage Luke to release his anger or unhappiness in less explosive ways. When he throws a tantrum, I remind myself not to reprimand him for the tantrum itself, but only for any hurt that his tantrums may cause," shares Pei Fen.

As for schools, the mum of believes in having an open and honest conversation about this topic. This benefits both the teachers and students.

"I was educated in Singapore and I remember times when I felt as if nothing else mattered about me except for my academic performance, and that was a horrible feeling," she tells theAsianparent.

"I hope any changes to the current system or any new systems that will be implemented will help our students realise that academic results are not everything," she adds.

What's in store for YES 933 DJ and mum of two

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Other than her daily radio show from Mondays to Fridays at 10am to 12pm on YES 933, the celeb mum has also recently completed a 10-episode radio drama.

This was done together with her colleague Qijia and it aired from Sept 13 to 24. It also features an original theme song she wrote herself.

In addition to this, Pei Fen is also working on an ongoing series of podcasts that feature original stories about Chinese idioms written and narrated by her.

Her eldest son Luke is the other main voice in these podcasts making it a fun mum-and-son duo activity.

"It has been fun doing this with him, not only does he get to practice his spoken Mandarin and learn about Chinese idioms, [but] he also learns more about my work! It's called 成语最加芬 and it's available on meLISTEN app and website, Spotify, Google Podcasts and Apple Podcasts," shares the DJ parent.

This article was first published in theAsianparent.