Presidential hopeful Tharman reveals why he never proposed to wife

Last week, her thoughts on her husband Tharman Shanmugaratnam's presidential bid made the rounds on social media.

"In our relationship, it's always said that I have the last word...", Jane Ittogi said, drawing chuckles at the press conference.

This week, the couple, married for 33 years, shared other interesting bits about their relationship in an interview with Lianhe Zaobao.

Tharman, 66, revealed that he never actually proposed to Ittogi. 

"There was no formal proposal, we just sort of constantly discussed [marriage] over the years, and realised, 'yeah okay'", he said. 

"I think we should enact one," Ittogi chimed in, while asking her husband to get down on one knee. 

"We just knew each other very well, and after a while, we decided [to get married]." 

The couple first met at the Old Caledonia, a ship restaurant in London, when Tharman was studying at the London School of Economics. She had just completed her masters in law at the same university. 

To celebrate their union, the couple shared they had a small wedding lunch. 

Although he didn't pop the question, the former senior minister did surprise her by planning their honeymoon trip to Sulawesi, Indonesia, where they went mountain climbing. 

"She didn't know where we were going until we boarded the plane," he said.

"I just planned it, and I told her 'Don't worry, don't think about it.'" 

Tharman's romantic gestures

When asked what was the most romantic thing Tharman had done, Ittogi replied: "That's a difficult question".

"We are not, as a couple, the type to do romantic gestures," he added.

She pondered the question and told her husband: "You recently did something romantic for me — buy me a whole lot of pain ointment."

"[Him] doing things that I never asked for, I suppose that's romantic."

And instead of gifting Ittogi her favourite wisteria flowers, Tharman sent her a photo of them, after he spotted them while attending a conference in Sweden last year. 

"I noticed that the garden had wisteria trees, and I quickly rushed down with my handphone to take some beautiful photos of wisteria to show her," the former deputy prime minister said. 

"Yeah! A photo of wisteria rather than a bouquet of wisteria," she quipped. "So you see, that's the kind of romantic [he is]." 

He says, 'Jane'

Sharing more about their married life, Ittogi said that her husband has a habit of looking to her for answers whenever he gets vexed. 

"He thinks I'm a magician, usually when he's upset it's because something has gone wrong... so it's always me, because I said women carry the whole sky." 

"When I am irritated that something hasn't been done, I do tend to ask Jane what's going on," said Tharman. 

"So I have to invent a lot of stories," she laughed. 

As for who gives in first after an argument, Ittogi said Tharman is "much more the generous person in an argument", balancing out what she calls the 'Jane moments'.

"We just discuss everything, so we rarely end up with disagreement. It just takes time," the couple said.

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claudiatan@asiaone.com