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'It can get a bit lonely': Woman's journey to understanding a new faith leads to first fasting experience in Ramadan

'It can get a bit lonely': Woman's journey to understanding a new faith leads to first fasting experience in Ramadan
This will be the first time Jasmine Tay's attempting to fast a full day throughout Ramadan, and she has documented her experience on TikTok.
PHOTO: Jasmine Tay

Every year, Muslims around the world observe the holy month of Ramadan.

During this time, there is no intake of food or water from dawn to sunset.

This may be an annual experience that those born into the faith would be familiar with.

But for people like Jasmine Tay, it would be completely new. 

This will be the first time she's attempting to fast a full day throughout the entire fasting month, and the 24-year-old NUS student decided to document it online in a series of TikTok videos. 

'Yes, I am Chinese'

On the first episode of her TikTok series on fasting for Ramadan, posted on March 12, Jasmine wanted to make it clear that she is of a particular ethnicity.

Speaking to AsiaOne, she shares that "a lot of people" seem to hold this misconception that Chinese individuals cannot also be Muslim.

And that some struggle to see race and religion as two separate entities does throw her off guard.

"What do you mean? I'm Chinese [so] cannot be Muslim meh?" Jasmine asks rhetorically.

At the time of writing, she has yet to convert to Islam but she "plans to be Muslim one day".

In her journey to embracing a new faith, Jasmine is taking "baby steps", which includes fasting for a full day and learning how to perform prayers.

She adds: "I just thought that if I could fulfil the pillars [of Islam] accordingly, before I convert, that's something I could do from the start."

Among the five pillars of Islam are fasting during the holy month of Ramadan and performing prayers five times a day.

Jasmine is fully aware that committing oneself to a new religion is a big life decision.

The fact that she was brought up with a different faith might also complicate an already-delicate situation.

Regardless, her steadfast nature means that she wants to "get as much right" before converting to Islam.

She hopes that, by doing so, this will minimise moments of feeling "lost" after converting and of being unable to fulfil her duties as a Muslim.

Waking up before sunrise

Jasmine is up nice and early (left) for her pre-dawn meal (right).
​​​​​​PHOTOS: Jasmine Tay

A protein bar, an oat drink, dates and water.

"I've been lasting on these four items [for my pre-dawn meal]," Jasmine shares.

She quickly adds (almost as if she's embarrassed to admit) that it's "quite a lot" to consume in the wee hours of the morning.

In the comments section of Jasmine's Ramadan videos on TikTok, many would provide tips on alternative pre-dawn meals for her consideration.

But often, the issue of practicality would come into play.

"It's also quite expensive, because I'm doing all of this [fasting] by myself," she shares.

Having rice and dishes would also mean getting up earlier to prepare the meal.

On a regular Ramadan morning, Jasmine's alarm is set at roughly 5.30am.

She is aware that this can be seen as relatively risky, given how close it is to the "cut-off time", roughly 5.45am, when Muslims are not allowed to eat and drink.

The dawn prayer comes after and that usually lasts until 6.15am.

"I pray a lot slower," Jasmine sheepishly admits, mentioning that she's still learning the ropes.

Not just about food and water

Jasmine breaking her fast alone (left) and getting ready to tuck into a meal with some company (right).
​​​​​​PHOTOS: Jasmine Tay

There have been days when Jasmine missed her pre-dawn meal.

"How am I going to last?" she'd asked.

The 12th day of Ramadan, in particular, was a real struggle for her.

We learned, through her TikTok diary entries, that she had woken up for the pre-dawn meal but was a tad too late.

"I missed sahur [pre-dawn meal] by two minutes. I cried myself back to sleep," the 24-year-old shared honestly.

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From a full meal to a simple glass of water: Snippets of sahur from different Muslim families in Singapore 

She tells AsiaOne that such days can be extremely challenging but, generally, it is "more mental than physical".

While hunger and thirst may form the bulk of some Muslims' fasting experience, Jasmine understands that observing Ramadan is more than just abstaining from food and water.

She is very much aware that believers of the faith also refrain from sinful behaviours and negative thoughts such as gossiping.

Even with all these challenges included, Jasmine's biggest struggle is of a different kind.

"The hardest part for me, when it comes to fasting, is that it can get a bit lonely," she admits. 

Jasmine tells us that she breaks her fast alone "50 per cent" of the time.

She adds: "You want to look forward to eating with people, but everybody has their schedules, so I understand. 

"I'm fine eating alone but I realised the impact it has on me, emotionally."

A 'misunderstood' religion

A selection of gifts received during Ramadan (left) and sharing a meal with her partner's family (right).
PHOTOS: Jasmine Tay

"What are three things that immediately come to your mind when I say 'Islam'?" we ask her.

There was an almost-instant reaction: "Peace" and "gratefulness".

Jasmine took a couple of seconds more to think about what her final answer would be.

"Misunderstood," she finally says. "If you meet anybody from the Muslim community, they are probably the most welcoming and have the biggest hearts," she explains.

The general reaction to her TikTok series, which has since garnered tens of thousands of views each, might be evidence of this claim.

A quick scroll through the comments section of these clips, and you'll come across netizens commending Jasmine's efforts this Ramadan.

Tangible support comes in the form of gifts—such as prayer rugs, prayer garments and translated Quran—from strangers.

"Super thankful for the supportive messages and kind words from the community too. Y'all are the true definition of what Islam is," Jasmine wrote in a TikTok video caption.

As for the keyboard warriors spewing negativity regarding her journey to Islam, Jasmine simply doesn't engage them.

She explained: "I get annoyed but I don't retaliate. I just keep my cool and let my actions show.

"Because I realise that's what our community does."

ALSO READ: Through a convert's eyes: Woman opens up about the beauty and struggle of her first Ramadan experience

amierul@asiaone.com

No part of this story or photos can be reproduced without permission from AsiaOne.

For more original AsiaOne articles, visit here.

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